A LIFE IN THE DAY (61)

------------- HUGS, TEARS, DREAMS and the FUTURE--------------

The nearest pub was only 2 blocks away, but as we walked in its direction, it seemed to take hours to get there. we were both emerced in our own private thoughts...........

A Life In The Day (60)

...........................LONDON............................
As it turned out on our last ride on our way to London, we rode in a (?) Lorry (?), a milk truck.
We didn't really know where we were, but BERNARD,( the truck driver) told us to look for a Hostel and go from there.
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------------------------------MEDICAL ALERT !!!!!!!!!! -------------------------------

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It now seems that I now have a prod from my Doctor to get with it and make daily entries!,

if I wish to get this done in my life autobiography !!! (pun intended !) Back soon , gotta
go for
my CAT SCAN now. Oops ,it gonna take a little longer then I thought. Gotta wait for Valium to kick in also for the M R I , . Apparently I have claustrophobia issues as well and can't lay still for a half hour with out freaking out, so I might be out for the rest of the day. I 'll be back a soon as I can for the rest of ENGLAND and the beginning of AFRIKA !!! yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at 17 years of age and MONEY ! hahahaha and in 1964 !!
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Hi folks, here's a brief catch-up. I'm afraid it seems that the prognosis is not a very good one. The Doctor just reiterated that if I were serious about my autobiography, I'd better hurry up with it!. What I have is an ugly thing ! So.....the rest of the narrative may be curt in some parts , BUT, it will ALL STILL BE TRUE. So, lets all jump back on the magic carpet, shall we? hahaha.

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All morning long Joel and I spent the morning walking and looking for a Hostel or a Y.M.C.A.. yes I said Y.M.C.A.. hahaha , they had them there then. Well we found one and checked in then proceeded to check out the city. WOW! The ARCHITECTURE! THE Statuary, the history of what I'm sure the locals took for granted!
Also another surprise was that Joel apparently had NO problem with women that couldn't speak English when it came to sleep or have sex with, but when it came to one that spoke English? He was timid again! hahaha, (go figure?!). We found a place to grab a bit to eat and as we sat there, Joel spent His time looking at all around Him and I spent MY time looking at the girls! / grin.
I caught the eye of a Very PRETTY one who liked what She saw. Joel wanted to walk around and I said we'd meet at TRAFALGAR SQUARE in 2 hours. That's all it took for me to start hitting on Esmeralda,(her name). To get to the point, we hit it off, and hearing I was from America, she went nuts! When I told her where I was staying and for how long, she insisted that I come stay with her in her flat! ( let me think about it? OK!).
The British have an odd but practical way of paying for utilities. They have a little box, the size of a cable box on the our TV's, by the door. If you wanted 1 hour of electricity, you had to put a SHILLING into it, (about 1 US Dollar?), a pain in the ass, but in my case a pain in the toe. You see I broke it as Esmeralda and I were "BOINKIN", and the light went out, I got up to put a Shilling in it for more lights. Wrong thing to do in the dark, in a place you don't know! WHACK! CRACK! YEOW!
Having lived with a mother who broke 4 toes, I knew what to do . LIMP until they set!
During the days , Joel and I looked for GRAND CANADIAN LIFE ASSURANCE Ltd. , so we could cash in our policies and go on our ways.
We finally came across one off Battersea Park. After identifying ourselves and explaining what we wished to do with our policies,(to wit, cash them in and deposit them in an International Bank, such as BARKLEY ), which had offices ALL over the world! After paying a REALLY small cancellation fee,(about $125 !, remember, it was 1964 !), we got our money, deposited it in separate accounts,(at the same Banks, since it was Interglobal.) and then went to the nearest Pub to get drunk! hahahaha.

E.S.D.

A Life In The Day (59)

----------the ODYSSEY 0f OLD NAMED PUBS and LONDON --------
Williker and his friends came by about 2/3 hours later as Joel and I were eating " BANGERS, EGGS and CHIPS". I SWEAR TO Gawd! that's what they were / are called! Sausages, eggs and country fries! hahaha.
Anyway , seaman Williker and friends came in and sat at our table. They were happy for our departure from the sea to land and our up coming life's adventure.
As Joel and I sat there listening to all their advice, we were bolled over by all the things we were told to look out for and beware of. Things like never go into a whore house with all your money in one pocket! Watch out for gambling houses in London, especially if we win and leave!
And don't eat HAGGUS! ,( made from a sheep's stomach, filled with the sheep's intestines,heart and other organs of the poor beast!), unless we wished to make complete fools of ourselves, by vomiting all over others !! (it's an acquired taste! it's REALLY disgusting! ). hahaha.
How the girls in England were called "birds", and how they fell for American accents! ( OH BOY!). Not to flash money about! Be smart , but act dumb, and knowing that Joel and I spoke several languages, not to let on unless it was needed!
After 2/3 hours , the guys said they had to go back to the ship to ready for ship-out. We made our good buys, where upon they left and we were truly alone.
The sun was coming up. we had a couple of hours sleep and full bellies, so we decided to set out on the "Yellow Brick Road!"
Basically the distance from Liverpool to London, ( as the crow flies, is 190 miles. We weren't crows. It took us about 375/400 miles and 3/4 weeks to get there.).
One of the first things we found out was that when you hitch-hike, you don't point up with your thumb but down with you index finger down, (your pointing finger.). The next thing we found out was that things like Milk didn't come in square containers but in triangular ones! hahaha The next thing we realised were the funky names of the towns we went Thur! hahaha funky to us but real to them! Names like Edge Hill, Old Swan, Child Wall, Wave Tree, Gate Acre, Hunts Cross, Widnes, Runcorn, Stoke-on-Trent, NewCastle-Under-Lyme, Missed. I guess they were no stranger then Broken Knee, Purgatory, Last Chance, Dead Wood, Truth of Consequences, Big Whiskey. hahaha.
you haven't heard anything yet until you've heard the incredible, ludicrous, HYSTERICAL names of their Pub's
Joel and I made it a "MUST-DO" to stop in EVERYONE and have a drink, or as we found out , "A PINT OF BITTERS".AND SMOKE A "FAG", that's what they call cigarettes! hahaha
Some of the pub's we came across where ,The Black Spot, The Hand less Dipper, Drunken Goose, Maidens Key, Widow's Wail, The Weeping Eye, Mad Hatter, Headless Goose, Mum's Pantry, The Prancing Rock, The Broken Harp, The Drunken Friar, and so on, and so on.....
We had a field day going thru this new land! We were like 2 kids in "Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.", but it wasn't even close to what we encountered in LONDON!
ESD.

A Life In The Day (58)

THE NEW OLD WORLD

The rest of the voyage went without many rough seas'. Joel and I were pretty much accepted by both crew and officers, mainly because we kept out of their ways and asked intelligent dumb questions. hahaha (oxymoron? ) . Joel was the darling of the ships personnel, due to His ability
to draw REALLY GREAT FUCKING PORTRAITS!, of both Officers and Crew!
As we passed the AZORES, we were told we were beyond the halfway point and to be ready to arrive in ENGLAND within a fortnight. First Port of call.........LIVERPOOL! THE BEATLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first sight of land we saw was the IRISH coastal port city of CARNSORE at the extreme S. E. corner of Ireland. It was beautiful after so many weeks at sea, and the cliffs! WOWSER! From there we were to sail into the channel and N.E. to the port of Liverpool where the BEATLES WERE BORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! remember this was 1964 !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neither Joel or I had any baggage to speak of, so for the most part of entering the port and docking, was watched by us amidships.
Never having seen a 64 thousand ton ship dock before , it was a sight to behold!
Try to remember that scene from "2001", where the space shuttle attempts to dock to the space station and Wagner playing in the background...
It was awe inspiring to behold! The tugs pulled and pushed us in, and when we were close enough to the pier/dock, one of the crew threw a line, attached to a hawser, to a man on the dock. It was something to see a 64,000 tons ship taken in with the caress of her mother's hand on her newborn baby. The whole process took about 40 minutes Joel and I stood there looking at the power of something we had never seen before. When we were securely tied to the docks and the gang plank was finally let down and customs had come aboard and seen our passports we were free to go into the country of the Beatles. As we were about to leave, Joel gave out all the portraits he had drawn of crew and officers, I had gone to seamen Williker and made my goodbyes and thank Him for the knowledge He gave me, For what might come in my future on this time ship called life. As I turned to leave, Williker said, "Take this note with you and find a cabbie passed the docks and ask him to take you to, "the Weeping Eye", it's the seamen's hostile, and open 24 seven for seamen. Give this note to Andre. He is normally on the 4 to 8 watch, Tell him this comes from me, and you will have a bed and food. We will be off duty for at least 17 hours shortly. While they unload and load cargo. We will come by, Myself, Moriarty and Farare. Be safe Laddybuck!"
The first thing we noticed when we got past the warehouses to hail a taxi, was even though we all spoke English, it was COMPLETELY different ! The second thing we noticed , was that no matter where in England you wanted to go , the cabby's knew how to get there! Apparently , ALL cabbys'
had to not only take a driving test, but also a "MAP", test on all routes in the county they wished to drive in! WE arrived at the "WEEPING EYE", as tired as any kidd could be, seeing as how we were in a New country THAT SPOKE ENGLISH! hahaha.

A Life In The Day (57)

THE FACE OF GAWD
Later that night, as I met Willeker in the crews mess, He explained to me the nature of the
watches on board ship. The shifts , 2 hrs. stand by , in the mess , 1 hr. at the helm and 1 hr. on bow watch. His first hour was to be the bow, for him, so he asked if I wanted to join him?
"HELL YES!", I said!
There was an eeriness that's hard to explain. I don't know if I'll be able to do it justice..............
As you walked out on deck at midnight from the hatch-ways, all light and sound ceases. All one "hears" was heard thur the exposed skin to the night breeze, that blow across the black ocean.
The further away from the crews quarters amid-ship, the darker the world seemed to get.
The whole time I really didn't bother to look up, but when I did, I gasped with such awe that I fell back on my ass, dizzy and REALLY SCARED!!!!! I was speechless! I couldn't take my eyes off the heavens! I kept thinking, "I am such a nothing in it all!"
I felt like every Modern Day Space Hero I'd ever read about as a kid. Buck Rodgers, Flash Gordon, John Glenn, Capt. Jet!
The magnitude of it all! THE TOTAL BLACKNESS OF IT ALL! And then to see the millions of silver points of light that Gawd happened to sneeze on that black velvet! HOLY SHIT !!
Williker just leaned against one of the hatches and chuckled a bit and said,
"I'll see you at the bow, son. When your done introducing yourself to Gawd."
I really am not sure how long I lay there on the deck, but Williker must have said something to
the seaman he had relieved, I wasn't disturbed for at least 1/2 hr. When I finally pulled myself together and made it to the bow, Williker was having a smoke and looking at the night sky also. Before I could say anything and without turning around asked,
" Well son? are you and Gawd on speaking terms yet?"
"What made you ask that?", I asked.
"Well", he said, "when I saw the look on you and your friends face, telling about what the two of you saw in that village in Central America, I kinda got the feeling that the two of you might of stopped believing in the Almighty. So I thought that a personal meeting between you and HE might be in order.Was I very far off the mark?"
All I could do was stand there and start to cry like a big baby.
He, like my Father might have done , just walked over and put an arm around my shoulder and said,
" I get the feeling that life is going to hold more surprises for you, son. Just be ready for them when they come to get in your face."
After that, we just stood there and looked for any distant lights on the horizon until his hour on watch was up, then we walked back to the crews mess and drank coffee and talked for two hours.
The rest of the voyage was pretty uneventful, but I made it a habit to be on Willikers midnight to 4am watch from that time forward.
On some mornings while we were at the bow, we would talk of poetry, sometimes of his wife, sometimes of why I ran away from home, of what to look out for whenever I would hit a port city anywhere in the world, but ALL the times he talked? I listened!

A Life In The Day (56)

---------------BOW WATCH----------------

and the face of God

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As the day rolled on, Joel and I, drifted off to our cabins and got what made us feel good in our minds and hearts. We walked back to our cabin. Joel got His drawing paper, I got my writing paper.

Joel then went to the aft part of the ship, got comfortable on the poop deck and proceeded to draw the seamen at work "chipping the deck", in preparation for the "red leading",

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CHIPPING and RED-LEADING

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The process of "CHIPPING", is done with an instrument that looks like a short handled WEED WHACKER, protruding from the edges are rounded metal projections about 5/8" long, that vibrate at a high rate of speed. When held to the deck, it "CHIPS", the rusted metal off the deck. After 1/2 an hour , your arms feel like you've worked with a jack hammer for the day long! Smoke brakes were standard every 20 minutes. All this being done for that section of deck for that day, all the rust chips would be washed off the decks with sea water and allowed to dry as the rest would have lunch. As the crew returned, they would start to swab the decks with fish oil drawn from 50 gal. barrels and left to dry for 1/2 hour, at which point the decks would be swabbed with "RED LEAD", or the same thing that is on the "GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE", to give it that color. After an hour or so the crew would come back again to swab the decks with "Black" paint and the job was then considered done.

It seemed that work on board a freighter at sea was/ is basically "BUSY WORK", until a port is reached.

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Joel would try to look inconspicuous as He drew, but some of the crew would notice and attempt to look as GALLANT at their work as possible. hahaha, ( for Joel had shown some of His work in the mess hall and the crew could see that He was good at His calling.

Joel did this for the rest of the day and seemed to come out from it all lighter and refreshed. He smiled more for the rest of the voyage.

I on the other hand took my interests to the bow of the ship, for me the future was my calling......

It was one of those days where the storm was receding in the past , both metaphorically and in reality, and the sun was beginning to shine its face on my face.

At that time of day I was alone to think on what road I would walk in my tomorrows. Would there be days of riches? poverty? drama? pain? love? tears? I thought "the future would take care of itself." I sat there pretty much for the rest of the day, occasionally looking over the bow to see playful Dolphins swimming along side of us and wondering ,"what is going Thu their minds?, how many ships through out time had they escorted to adventure or ruin?"

I was in a state of dreams, I saw myself as the GREAT Voyager "ODYSSEUS". It was rather presumptuous of me , but hey! I was 17! hahaha !

I was pulled out of my reveries by one of the older crewmen, who I came to know and learn a few of life's lessons. I developed a strong respect for this old fart!

It was dinner time and as we sat at table, the seamen started to ask about other aspects of previous remarks, all the time staying away from any reference of the village but asking for just more telling of "stories around the campfire..........."

Toward the end of the meal and into desert, conversation just seemed to wander like a puppy chasing a slow rabbit. That's when the old sea dog, WILLIKER, by name , started up a conversation with me pretty much to see where my head was. It seemed that in his youth he taught philosophy at some university in Belgem and took to the sea after his wife died, (a precursor of my future.). We hit it off mentally and something more..........ethereal, metaphysical. He noted that he had seen me at the bow for a good part of the day looking both at the sky and the sea and wondered what I saw in the two?

It took me a while to assess the question. no one had EVER asked me a question like that before!

After awhile, he asked me if I wanted to meet him for bow watch at midnight.........and see the face of Gawd?

A Life In The Day (55)

PAST ADVENTURES and BOW WATCH
................................................................................................................................sorry for being away so long folks, but I'm back now.......................................................................................................................Since it was Sunday and the crew had pretty much nothing to do until watch change, we all just sat around the mess hall, and Joel and I talked and the crew just listened as we unfolded the happenings of the past few months...........As we sat there and told of our experiences with the BULL SOW, (oxy-moron!), that was stoned on phycotropic fruit, or Joel knocking Himself out with His bolo while hunting, or the attack of the killer MOTHS, and the killer Tarantulas, or the riding of adolescent Crabs in the river,or the meeting of THE BANDIT KING, they all laughed with uproarious mirth! When we came to the massacre of the village.............Joel started to silently cry and the crew either lowered their eyes or looked at us with either horror or pity.It was then that I realised my stupidity. I had no idea that I was either so double jointed or that I could fit my size 10 foot into my mouth. I unwittingly had sucked the air out of the room! I tried to pull the fat out of the fire by quickly changing the subject to the valley of light and finding the river of GOLD!, and the Piranhas in it, and later the territorial Headhunters as we were leaving our camp site, with our packs filled with the river gold. I believe that some of the seamen picked up on what I was attempting to do in changing the subject so as to get Joel out of His private hell. Some of them laughed overly hard at my telling how we had outsmarted the assayer in his office, at his own game.This work was harder than I thought. I started talking about the dumb things we had done to the dumbest things we had done, as time progressed the seamen started to get into a state of jocularity at our silliness of our adventure and Joel came out of his funk. I kept talking about more dumb things and it was obvious by Joel's demeanor that he was coming out of His hell. As the morning wore on, the Sun seemed to shine in the mess hall.
Finally the watch was changed, and we decided to go out and look at the sea without roiling stomach's. Joel and I went to the poop deck and looked out at what we were leaving behind.. An old life in America and a new life in who knew where..............................
............. and then I said,"Aw,fuck it. Tomorrow's another day."

A Life in the Day (54)

CHICKEN of the SEA....BOW WATCHES

It seemed that during the night, as Joel and I were driving the Porcelain Bus,
Flying Fish had sailed onto the decks of the ship, driven by the storm. And the Chief Cook had gone on deck to gather as many as he could to prep for lunch, before the Sun could have its' way with them.
It turns out that Flying Fish are sweet and delicate in taste. and if buttered and lightly battered and quick pan fried, the taste was unusual and more exquisite then you could have EVER expected! BAR NONE!
As we sat at table, the chief cook brought in 2 platters of sweet and salty Flying Fish, 2 platters of buckwheat hot cakes, real honey and pitchers of cold milk and hot coffee for all of us.
Being Sunday and a skeleton crew, we all sat and ate with time as our guest.
We were being asked of our ..adventures? hahahha

A Life In The Day (53)

----------------------- ACCEPTANCE -- CHICKEN of THE SEA -- AND THE MIND ON BOW WATCH --------------------

As we came back down to the Crews Mess, we could see that the crew had relaxed smiles on their faces. Apparently the Officer Steward had passed the word that we hadn't ratted on them. As we walked in the crews mess, we were asked if we wanted something to eat? .............................................. AFTER WE ALL STOPPED LAUGHING....

We were STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The short foods we were fed DID NOT FILL THE VOID!!!!!!! hahaha

E S D

A Life In The Day (52)

--------------------AND THE YAWNS CONTINUE--------------------

(and POSEIDON SERVES us REAL FOOD)

That night we did nothing more then curse the day our mothers gave birth to us!

Joel was put in the top bunk, He was a bit shorter then I, so easier to lift. Bad mistake! We should both been put on the floor close to the buckets! As the sea rolled on, in what turned out to be a medium sized hurricane, we found out that our stomachs didn't know that we didn't have anything left to offer and kept calling for more presentations to "The Floor GAWD!"

Joel hadn't realised that he was in the top bunk when he reached to the bucket and fell out to the floor!! He lay where he landed! This was not a time for me to laugh! ( but I gotta admit. I tried!). I rolled outta my bunk to the floor and LITERALLY crawled over to him to make sure he was ok! Nothing broken!, just more vomit!

The next morning, we had to admit, we were both disgusting in our appearance and smell!! and our cabin looked like a toilet that hadn't been flushed for a week of use! As we started to staggered out of our cabins one helping the other, one of the petty officers happened to be coming down to check on us and stopped due to, not only our appearance but the smell emanating from us a short distance away. (He was trying to hide a smile.), and directed us to the crew showers for a, ( clean-up-go-about), and asked if we would join the officers in the mess for breakfast? He had to turn away to keep from showing us his laughter when he saw the looks on our faces at the last remark! But we were game and said,

" Yeah, sure, great, you fucking bet!". He went off laughing to tell the other officers about the 2 landlubber kids!

After we showered we felt it necessary to clean up our cabins and did just that! we mopped first and cleaned up all our mess and then opened up the port holes and aired the cabin, even if the sea was still a little rough. (a little my ass! it was still 15degrees list!), so the salt water wouldn't hurt.(MUCH!).

We made our way to the crews Mess first FOR COFFEE NOW!!! As it being Sunday, there was only a skeleton crew on duty and the rest were in the Mess. We walked into a room of smiles and good cheer, and were asked,

"Want a cup of warm grease, mate?" or,

"How bout some hot greasy bacon and fried eggs, bud?", or,

"What about some steamed okra?".

Try as we might? and seeing the looks in their faces? We started laughing about the same time they did! We all laughed for bit, and said that we were asked to join the officers for breakfast and had to go. Immediately a look of apprehension came to their faces, but went over our heads for the moment.We said we'd come back, and left.

We made our way to the Officers' Mess, with at least Coffee under our belts and REALLY Hungry! As we entered, we saw looks of subdued mirth on the Officers and Captain. faces. You could just tell that they wanted to know if what they had heard in the night was true?

The Captain asked me, with a slight smile, if the seamen had forced Greasy food on us for a joke? (As He was asking this question I could see out of the corner of my eye that the Galley Mess Steward was nonchalantly listening to the conversations. Like a fly on the wall.).

As Joel was about to answer, I could see that He was a bit pissed off, I taped His foot under the table to shut Him up! (Joel and I had developed a good repore during our travels and understood.). I then piped up and said that it was our idea to ask for FOOD! That we were starving! "bring it on, please!', AND HOW WE DIDN'T KNOW OF THE CONSEQUENCES! At which point the Captain and Officers laughed uproariously! The crew was cleared of perfidy! hahaha. At which point pancakes were brought on. ( stable in the stomach.) and toast and coffee. Even seamen can be affected with sea sickness it seems.

As we ate, the Captain and Officers started asking us of what had happened upon arrival at the dock and how we got here? As we drank our coffee and shared our adventures to the gathered assembly, I saw the Galley Steward leave with a smile on his face and go below.

Apparently, we showed ourselves to be ok lads and seemed to be accepted by the Captain and Officers as ADVENTUROUS kids with a goal in life.(go figure!). Pertty much after the meal, the Captain told Joel and I that it would be about a 3 week voyage to SOUTH HAMPTON, ENGLAND and a, SEA of WORTH, and we had the run of the ship as long as we kept out of the Officers and Crews way. Apparently , WE were accepted by the Captain and the Officers.(WHAT A HOOT!)

E S D

A Life In The Day (51)

--------------TECHNICOLOR YAWNS-----------------

The morning seemed to start with white caps, small swells and dark morning clouds on a 34 hundred ton freighter, little did we know what would come ...up (?)....next? haha. We were both starved and headed to the crews galley, not knowing that we were invited to the officers state room mess. Apparently as the crew saw us come in, the word was passed to the cookie to 'SERVE US THE BEST", especially since the sea was getting rough, and we had hit a storm front!

The sea was getting rougher by now , we had to hold on to the bulkheads as we walked in, we should have known that we were in for bad weather when we came into the mess and saw towels wet down and spread on the tables and the edges of the eating areas pulled up!(so the food wouldn't SLIDE off the tables!). As we sat down, the crew all seemed to have smiles on their faces. (why? a happy crew? ), hahaha. Little did we know that we were about to be the BUTT end of a joke!

The crew made room for us to sit among them, and told us that the mess was about to be served and why didn't we go to the officers mess? We told them that we didn't know about that, and were told in return, that we were welcomed here. The crew kept us busy with alot of small talk as the food was being prepared. Our noses were telling us, YEAH BABY!!! They asked us about what and how and why we were on this boat, as our stomachs ROARED! We answered as best we could and saw wonder on their faces.

When the food finally came, served by the galley mates, even they had smiles on their faces as they put down the food. What was severed were mounding plates of Greasy pork chops, Greasy sausages and Greasy fried eggs and 1 small plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with full pots of coffee. Joel and I had no thought about why the crew was only eating the PB&J sandwiches and coffee, if they did have eggs, they patted off the grease. Joel and I ate as if there were no tomorrow, to the on looking , grinning crew.

We ate and ate and ate.......my gawd , but this was the greatest meal we thought we ever had since we ran away from Home, even if some of the plates were sliding off the tables due to the list of the ship! THEN IT STARTED!.............

As we sat there talking and drinking coffee after our meal, and the walls of the mess hall swaying and ,and, and the deck rocking and rolling, and.........OH SHIT! We lurched to our feet and scrambled out of the mess hall to find the outer deck and headed for the rails! All the time in our ears we could hear the crew in the distance laughing.........

We barely made it to the rails! Grabbed, leaned and let out such a cascade of colors! PETER MAX would have loved the palate of colors! hahahaha

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EDITORS NOTE

NEVER ....EVER!

SPIT INTO THE WIND!

PEE INTO THE WIND!

OR THROW UP INTO THE WIND!

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We were there for what seemed days , calling our dog, "RAWLF!".

The weather was really BAD and we were helped to our cabins by some of the crew as the rest looked on and laughed. Who the fuck cared! WE DIDN'T! WE JUST WANTED TO DIE!

We were helped to our cabins and our bunks. As we lay with vomit all over us, the seamen grabbed and shoved our life jackets on the outside, underside of our mattresses and told us this would keep us from falling out to the floor. (ah, what little joys to look forward to !)

E D S

A Life In The Day 50 (PART - 2 )

------------THE STEAMER------------- (AND THE TECHNICOLOR YAWNS!)

( or, how we rode the rails ON THE SEA to ENGLAND )

As We walked up the gang plank, Joel and I could see the Seamen leaning over the rail staring down at us coming up, with curiosity in their eyes and mischief in their hearts.

Joel and I had no idea what to expect! All We knew was that we were on our way to ADVENTURE ! ? ! ?. hahahaha. And a check of $28,000.00 apiece in 1964 at 17 years of age, in the form of "life insurance policies", in our pockets! Now you may be asking, "SO WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?", good question! Here's what I told Joel back in the Cantina after I had asked the "Assurance", agent to write us up for that kind of policy back at the assayers office.

While we were sitting at our table, I then told Joel what my Father had told me about how He and mother had gotten out of Europe (before I was conceived), with all of our money without being confiscated by either local government or the Nazis. He told me that He and mother had decided to purchase "life insurance", from LLOYD'S of LONDON before they left to AMERICA, so that the monies would not be found on them and confiscated. You see, more then $500.00 could NOT be taken out of the country at ANY time! Ergo, I had thought the same thing and had asked government offices of passage, what the reality was now and here in S. America, Venezuela? I was told that NOW in 1964 the laws of the land were that no more then $1000.00 more then one came in with, could leave, and I had seen, as we came into town that, there were INTERNATIONAL Banking companies here in CARACAS.

As Joel listened to the story His mouth slackened and His jaw dropped! (THE LOOK WAS PRICELESS!) HAHAHAHAHA!

He at first wanted to slap me up along side the head in confused anger! then in seconds, He wanted to hug the breath outta me!

"BRILLIANT!" He said, "Why the fuck didn't you tell me earlier?"

Sheepishly , I told Him,"I wasn't sure I could pull it off."

We walked up the gang plank wondering what was going to happen now in this new world of water/sea/OCEAN!? As we came aboard one of the seamen asked us ,"what happened down there, mates?"

Joel and I looked at each other, smiled and said ,"Just a sending off party." Boy were we so cool or what?!!!! hahahaha.!!

We were shown to our cabins on the top deck, reserved for passengers and officers. Joel was the first to succumb to the hazards of a ship life. hahahahha !

Did I mention that we were still a little TANKED? HAHAHA. As we walked to our cabins we had to go thru the "bulkhead" to our rooms. Joel didn't see the base of the way. and didn't lift His feet! ROTF-HMS-LMAO !!! HE CAUGHT HIS FOOT AND WENT FACE FIRST TO THE DECK AND BLOODIED HIS NOSE! I looked , laughed and cried with tears of mirth! He looked up at me ,while dripping blood on the deck, and asked, "What da fax so fudy?", the whole time His nose was running blood like a cheap faucet!

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Bulkhead function in ships ( in ship construction: The naval architect )
...Passenger vessels must satisfy a standard of bulkhead subdivision that will ensure adequate stability under specified conditions if the hull is pierced accidentally, as through collision.in ship: Structural integrity )
...thus permit thinner shell plating. This scheme of framing is strongly favoured in applications where weight saving is important. However, longitudinal frames require internal transverse support from bulkheads and web frames—the latter being, in effect, partial bulkheads that may extend only three to seven feet in from the shell.

In our case? 10" from the deck and 12" from the sides.

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GOIN OFF THE AIR FOR A FEW DAYS! BACK AS SOON AS I CAN !

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BACK NOW,

OK , so where was I ?

Oh yeah, hahahaha . After I picked Him up and scrabbled into our cabin, a seaman looked on and laughed so hard that I swear that he wet his pants! hahahaha

The word was out to the crew! "LAND-LUBBERS! Kids! Get ready for fun!", HAHAHA ! As the steamer was readying to sail, I was laughing my ass off as I cleaned up Joel. We really didn't see our departure from the harbor, but no lose. We would in our, up coming lives , see many.

E S D

A Life In The Day (49)

------------THE CUT THROATS------and THE STEAMER-----------

For the whole time Joel and I were there, the Assayer kept telling us that to protect our claim, we should MAKE a claim! (I'm sure he thought that after the claim was made and the location known, We would become "worms food", thanks to the cut throats that he was obviously working with, and they could claim it for themselves and be rich!). As he opened a Cola for us, he went to the back room to make a call! Joel and I looked at each other and began to sweat! (was this what we were warned about?).

After the call,the agent came out and asked how we wanted our monies, the whole time I'm sure he was thinking, CASH! He was taken aback when we asked him to call a bank representative AND a representative from "GRAND CANADIAN LIFE ASSURANCE Co." to come to his office with a notary.(he had no idea what I had in mind, neither did Joel!)

(Joel and I had come to develop trust over the months we had been together and now it showed. I told Him all about it later ........He damned near beat the shit outta me, then later wanted to buy me a hooker and a bottle of champagne.)

The Assayer seemed to sweat as we waited for the people in question to arrive,( he wasn't prepared for this new situation.), all the while telling us things like , youths like us would do better with CASH so as to have a more exciting life, girls, abundance, a bank would only be a hindrance. Joel and I both had the idea he was doing his best to talk us out of "a bank intercession", as we waited . I managed to get a glimpse out the window and saw some guys out by the corner just hangin out doing there best to look cool.

They blended in about as well as "JASON", in a girl scout bake sale!

The officials arrived after about 30 minutes later, to the chagrin of the Assayer, and as it happened, at the same time.(go figure!).

The first guy was from the Banko National, the other was a pencil necked guy from the assurance company.(but he did know his numbers!). I got down to business and asked that our funds were credited to the bank and from there authorised to pay for the purchase of $54,000. of life insurance in both our names,( remember folks! THIS WAS 1964 !), therefor NOT having any money on us! the other 2 GRAND to buy passage on ANY FUCKING STEAMER OUTTA HERE!--ANYWHERE!!

That's when the Notary took over and made it legal. Meanwhile the Assayer was sweating bullets! The whole time stealing glances surreptitiously out the window, the other people didn't seem to notice, but I did...............

It was now about noon............ The bank official, the Insurance Agent and the Notary kinda picked up on what I had in mind , and I think approved. As a matter of fact they thought it was brilliant! I asked if any of them could help us get passage on a freighter to say, England? To our surprise, the Notary told us that she had a bother who worked in the Port Authority, and could do just that. Then I asked if We could have a ride to our Cantina/hotel , for safety sake. They quickly acquiesced and we were off out of harms way. The whole time the assayer was shitting his pants, swearing, and cursing his bad luck!

The banker insisted that He be allowed to take us to lunch so that Blanca , the Notary, could arrange for passage. We didn't argue. as we waited for our food, they asked all sorts of questions about our travels and adventures to date. They had as much fun listening as We had in telling.

Blanca came back as the meal was being served, with the news that all was well and We had been booked passage on a "LYKES BROS. LINE" freighter and was scheduled to leave port in 5 hours to LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND, and to be ready for departure in 4.

When we left each other after the meal, the trio was kind enough to ask if, WE would be ok? They told us that our plan to have them come to our rescue was outlandishly brilliant!, and were happy to assist in the out smarting of the "cut throats".

We were dropped off at our rooms and we all said good-by, where upon Joel and I walked over to the cantina and had a drink,(or 3), to talk over what We were gonna do. It was really a no brainer! As we sat there getting pleasantly SLOSHED. We really didn't have much to take with us, so that issue didn't raise its head, but what about our bikes?

'That's easy,lets go outside.", I said to Joel. The first person We saw was Anso, the kid we had asked that morning to watch our bikes. 'hey Anso! We've decided not to pay you money for watching our bikes." I said. He looked crestfallen, he thought that were cool guys and would keep our words, not like grown-ups. Joel picked up on what I was about to do and started to grin. Anso started to get angry. Before he could start to cuss us out, I told him that We decided to give him and his brother both our bikes. That's when his jaw dropped! HAHAHAHAHA, the funniest look you ever saw! Once he stopped hugging and kissing us on the cheeks, he asked why?

I told him that we had finished our business and were to leave in 2 hours to ENGLAND on a boat at pier 53, and would he and his brother mind giving us a lift? After we had told him why we came to CARACAS, and what other guys had told us to look out for and why we had to get out...........well he understood it all and said he would do everything in his power to get us there on time! We got our packs, lighter now by a few POUNDS!, got on the back of the bikes. Elitto (his brother had joined us crying with joy.), to drive Joel on, NOW HIS BIKE! TO THE PIER. We were escorted by a shit load of their friends , mostly on bicycles and 2 or 3 on mopeds, Thur town to the pier. (TALK ABOUT BEING HAPPY, YOU COULDN'T SEE ANSO'S OR ELITTO"S TEETH FOR ALL THE BUGS ON THEM!~ HAHAHAHAH).

We thought we were home free, with minutes to spare, as we came up to the,"STEAMER", WHEN 2 OLD '48 CHEVY COUPES came screeching up to block our way 30 yards from the gang plank!

What happened next took only seconds and it all seemed to have been choreographed in RADIO CITY MUSIC HALL! AT THE VERY LEAST FROM A SCENE FROM, "WEST SIDE STORY", Anso yelled out something neither Joel or I understood and all the kids got off there bike and seemed to form a skirmish line between us and the 5 guys that got out of the cars. The 5 guys pulled knives! The kids pulled switch blades, pipes and bicycle chains!

Joel pulled out his "sling", and I pulled out my "WHAMO". For a moment we thought it was tits up!, but then the reality of the situation hit us. IT WAS OVER 4 TO 1 ODDS! in our favor even though we were all kids!

The 5 guys realised that discretion was the better part of stupidity(!), and backed off. they got in their cars and with alot of shouting and swearing drove off to where ever they came from. No one was hurt!

Seconds after the "cut throats", drove off , we just stood there in silence all just looking at each other, shaking, coming down from an adrenalin, nervous high! One kid , Pico, I think , started to laugh nervously then was picked up by another and another and another, until we were ALL laughing! After we ALL got done, Joel and I went over to ANSO and his brother ELITTO and hugged and said our thanks to them and all the kids. There was no use in attempting to exchange address because most of the kids lived on the streets and most couldn't either, read or write. So We just said thanks!,and got on the boat and walked into another chapter of my new life.

E S D

A Life In The Day (48)

GOLD ASSAYERS - CUT THROATS - A STEAMER TO ENGLAND !

We went to the south East of CASIMIRO, the whole time making sure that we didn't say a word in any Catina or bar, or whore house, that we had a shitload of gold in our packs.

We came to the village of lOS TEQUES, and needed to replenish some of our supplies, about 14 klicks S.W. of CARACAS.

It was there that we got the lowdown, from other kids, about what we might see and beware of in Caracas! We were told that the ..assayers were in league with local hard guys......and ANYONE listing a claim was (depending on his power,) were free meat!

It was in the fields , with the other kids, close to the jungle that We heard of what to expect! 1), AFTER! We came to an assayers office , be prepared to have monies placed in the form of cash!( ask for a cashiers cheque!!! AND MAKE NO CLAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO CASH!!!!!!! NOT to stop UNTIL WE HAD A BANK TO DEPOSIT THE CHEQUE INTO! AND!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE NO CLAIM!!!!! ), If We did? We would not see the sunrise! We were 17 ! no adults !! , ( and runaways to boot!)

and then we rode into town~!!!!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sorry folks now working 10/14 hours per day , 7 days a week for my DREAM! JUST A BIT TIRED? AND TIRED OF HAVING A KEY BOARD IMPRINT ON MY FACE! HAHAHAHA

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We came into the south west end of town, (50 years past? it was a town and only that! and dirty to boot! )

The roads were dirty and shit in the gutters! It all smelled bad! It was like an old time gold town, full of bordellos , cantinas, food /supply stores, bandanlleros and assayer offices .

As we drove in slowly........... we came into town with our eyes open and scanning the territory,( which did well for me in the future!).

Maybe it's because I read a lot of "James Bond" books! (hahaha), but I was aware enough to recognise my surroundings and what might be surrounding us in this .....environment.

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sorry folks. off line , moved. no service.

ready and back now.

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It's difficult to say what was going Thur our heads at the time, but, we were both paranoid and scared shitless! Every eye we saw KNEW we had GOLD! (A SHITLOAD OF GOLD IN OUR PACKS), WE BOTH HAD A SPHINCTER FACTOR OF 4 !

We both knew what kind of a cantina to look for and found one. It was too poor for the "RICH" guys and too "RICH"for the dirt guys, basically, just rite for us.

it was a cantina with less "ROACHES" THEN MOST. we were off the beaten sewer track. The place was cleaner then most. the food was REALLY good. The first night .................and the last night we spent there was US listening to the words of man! (it was reaffirming that we still lived!). You, out there have NO, idea how .........yummy it is to hear voices when you just think you were so close to death!

After we paid for our room, parked our bikes, we went to the area to eat and talk.............TOMARROW!..................what the fuck? That night Joel and I talked about the next day, as we ate Iguana tails,(YUM-FUCKING-YUM!!!!!!), and what we would do to cash our GOLD. The whole time we both had our feet resting on our pack,(!),under the table. We decided that only one of us would go to get food,and start up "bid-ness", and Joel thought that I was more OK in doing that , I was the one. (WHAT THE FUCK! AM I KING SOLOMON? KING DAVID?), JOEL'S mind was in the clouds, ethereal, romantic, colors of emotion............rite , and I was the schlep! hahahaha, OK , so I was.

The morning before, I told Joel that I saw an Insurance Company that I had read about in school named,"GRAND CANADIAN LIFE', at the time, a global Enterprise.

Joel and I both walked in as if we were rough and tough!!!!! (reality? if we hadn't passed water before we left our room? ..........?.............?), . We came to the first ASSAYER OFFICE we saw, as it turned out it was the greatest choice, attempting to look cool!(and carrying a backpack full of GOLD!). I really think we did well, now in retrospect, it worked! The place looked as if we were in the TWILIGHT ZONE (!). Board floors, board walls and hot as hell!

We didn't take time! in Spanish, we asked for an analyse of our ore. As he looked, his eyes grew large with surprise at the weight of a single nugget, (size of a pigeon egg.). Let's get over this episode, suffice it to say the man looked as if he just got every porn movie, food type he loved, unlimited type of booze he ever loved to drink, all for free!, as we put the sack of Gold on his table! He kept asking us if we wanted ANYTHING to drink, we kept saying NO. The man acted like a mad scientist in a "VINCENT PRICE"MOVIE!, or like "Jean Wilder" in YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, running here and there to get chemicals to test against the scrapings of the ore. With each conclusion it seemed that he drooled more!, (in retrospect! it was hilarious!).

After 3 hours of chemically washing the samples,weighing and calculating the value, he told us we had the value of $56,000.00 in cash,(U S ).

IN 1964 THAT WAS ONE HELL OF ALOT OF MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha!

WE WERE FUCKING RICH !!!!!!!!!!!!!! OUR DREAMS WERE JUST A SUNRISE AWAY !!!!!!!!!! If we lived to see it !

E S D

A Life In The Day (47)

---------------HEAD HUNTERS and PAPER----------------

The first 2 days were about making sure that Joel and I didn't contract "STAFF",(what I had read about in school), being likely to happen in humid areas. I kept our wounds as clean as I could and changed our dressings as often as I thought necessary.

We tried to laugh it off, but during the whole time felt both scared and lucky, all the while thinking,"W T F ?".and then. .....................We BOTH had feelings of unease, we couldn't tell you why.......

As the third day dawned, we felt as if we HAD to leave this place! Joel and I still had dressings on our wounds, but the need to leave was so strong, that it was palpable! It was real! We packed up all we could, loaded our packs with clothes, food, PAPER(!) and the gold divided equally, cleaned camp and got on our bikes as fast as time would allow!

(did I say in the past that we had removed our "baffles" from our exhaust pipes for better sound?REMEMBER ! WE WERE 17! That and the PAPER alone was what may have saved our, now, skinny Jewish runaway butts!)

By such dumb, good fortune, Joel and I were camped on the East side of the river!

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EDITORS NOTE

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Back in THE DAY, bikes like ours didn't have electric starters, and you had to JUMP UP to have the weight to kick over the engines!

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We sat there on our bikes , ready to ride, for a few seconds looking at each other and wondering, WHAT IS THIS FEELING?..........all the while , unbeknownst to us (!), across the river, (say 40/50 yards?), was a scouting, hunting, warrior tribe of Head Hunters that we later found out were called, "CATUIQUES". (to this day I have No idea what that meant or means!)

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This next part is PURE speculation on my behalf!

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I am thinking that they were arrayed Ready to shoot and kill us! From what we were told in CARACAS, later at the GOLD ASSAYERS office, one nick of the points, we would have been dead in seconds!

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Apparently , the natives of the jungles hunt a green tree frog the size of a nickle with serious RED markings on its back, cut its head off, slit its stomach with a flint shard, and remove a small sack the size of a "BEE-BEE", then when the women have gathered enough, are thrown into a small pot, boiled and left to cool. At this point they dip the tips of either the arrows or darts into it and let them dry. It seems that the purity or lack there of , predicates the STRENGTH of the "HIT", or KILL! We were told later that the weapons of "choice" were 4' long bows with 3' arrows, or 4' blowguns with 9" darts !, (how did they know this?).

(NOW! REMEMBER! WE HAD OUR BACKPACKS ON! ). I looked at Joel and said ,

"Lets blow this pop stand and BLAST OFF LIKE ROCKETS!!!!!!!!!!"

He grinned! I grinned! We BOTH JUMPED UP at the SAME time and came down to START our engines!, ( thank ya jesus! even if you were a good JEWISH boy gone bad?) hahahahaha

The CRACK (!) of THUNDER on EARTH (!), MUST HAVE SCARRED THE SHIT OUT OF THEM! Their aims MUST have been thwarted!?! Joel and I BOTH cranked ON THE JUICE!!!!!!!!! AND LEFT CONTRAILS of dirt in our wake!!!!!

As we were riding off to the East, we were BOTH feeling punches in our backs and had NO idea what they were? I found out later, after what could have been 20 minutes or 20 hours!,RIDING! (for some unexplainable reason, ADRENALINE WAS PUMPING! We came to the outskirts of ARAGUA,((a small town at that time. big village, really.)), and decided to rest.We pulled over to stop , still in the jungles. It was then that I saw...........

(Has anyone out there ever seen a "Bull Fight"? a TRUE BULL FIGHT?

have you seen the "Banderillas " sticking out, of the Bulls neck? How they kinda flop around? As the bulls attempt to gore the Matadors?)

As I looked over at Joel, I saw 7 THREE FOOT ARROWS AND 9, NINE INCH DARTS STICKING and FLAPPING out of His backpack !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joel told me I had 5 three foot arrows and 8 nine inch darts in mine!!!!!

Gold is soft! But a REAM of PAPER IS ALMOST 2 INCHES THICK!!!!!!!

then...........

We were 30 or 40 klicks away from CARACAS when we finally stopped. We, NOW, knew what the punches in our backs were! We sat down and took our packs off slowly, so as to look at how far the arrows and darts went in. Talk about dumb!!!! We said WOW! We didn't think death! We were 17 and SUPERMEN!

Writing PAPER is denser then Drawing paper. The darts , for the both of us, did, go Thur the gold and stopped, on the two of us! BUT THE ARROWS!!!!!!!! The arrows in my back pack Ream of PAPER didn't go more then an inch and a half and stopped! (1/2 inch to spare!), With Joel the arrows went Thur His drawing Paper and stopped at his sox's!

Then and ONLY then did we get Hit with the subtle reality of a "MACK TRUCK", IN THE BATH ROOM!!!!!!! (holy fuck!!!! we were almost killed!!!!!!!!).

That night we setup camp and got shitfaced on the last of our Tequila and ate the last of our monkey meat.

E S D

A Life In The Day (46)

----------------------The GOLD and The PIRANHAS-------------------


We came to the rivers edge and just looked into it.
It seemed as if candy canes and sugar plum fairies were dancing around the bottom of the river bed, just waiting for us to come play with them. Neither of us noticed small remnants of some animal gently floating down stream........
Joel and I just jumped into the water and swam to the bottom. Joel had told me to fan the sand with my hands and pick up ANY stone I might come across, then swim up and cast it to a spot on the shore we had picked before we started.

It was maybe 2 hours later that we called a break to see what we gathered. We were too JAZZED to feel any fatigue. so we got our pocket knives out and started to chip away at the rocks and see if we got anything of value. We had thrown up a shitload of rocks on the shore! As we started to chip away, the grins on our faces kept getting bigger and bigger! 3 out of 5 stones showed GOLD under the silt covering! We kept this up, diving and pitching up rocks until well after noon when we finally called it a day!

We dragged our "catch" back to camp and decided to eat and talk about what the fuck we were going to do next.....?

Before us lay a whole future of possibilities we had never dreamed of! I have no idea what Joel might have been thinking............all I knew was my own mind/hearts desire...........for me ,I kept thinking ,that now I could come home from school, go directly to my room and do my homework without feeding my baby brother(Blair), or changing my baby sister's(Alana's) diapers, or clean my Phyco moms figurine display. The freedom to study at leisure!

That night Joel and I were in Disneyland of our dreams...........That night we just ate, drank and smoked a little,(!). We had DREAMS OF ...........OF ............THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told Joel some of mine, how I wanted to live "some" of the life of "JAMES BOND", how I wanted to meet the kind of women "HE" did! /grin/blush. How I wanted to live the life of adventure! How I wanted to have Fillet Mignon instead of Salisbury Steak!( AND afford it with plenty to spear), (sp?). How I wanted to climb cliffs, hunt big game, sail the seas, sit in a council of elders......................and be asked of my opinion. (what a maroon I was! hahahaha) JOEL told me of some of His, how He wanted to be a GREAT artist! like DEGAL, MONEAY, and that crazy fuck who cut off his ear off in Tahiti! hahaha, and be the BIGGEST whore monger He knew! We fell asleep with dreams of WONDER in our spirits..............and GOLD in the river ........WAITING for US!

The next morning We ate, drank our coffee, cleaned and WENT SWIMMING FOR GOLD!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!
As we dove into the river, it never occurred to me,(the science nut!), that there were NO fish coming from upstream...........?

With the invincibility of "dumb" teenagers, we continued to dive....(I had not said before,BUT, Joel and I had, when we first came to "XANADU", made camp on the EAST side of the river, ( another reason to believe that God protects "MAD DOGS, ENGLISHMEN and DUMB TEENAGERS!). As we proceeded to gather our .....booty? .......gift from Mother Earth?...........our find? ...........what ever!!!!!!!!! We started to realise that...........We had a SHITLOAD of GOLD here!!!!!!!!! , and we couldn't carry all that much! hahahaha! HONEST!!!!!!!! there is that much STILL there!!!!!!!!!! BUT! As we dove, Joel , somehow cut his leg! We / He didn't think too much of it and continued to dive...............and as His blood drifted down stream,.... then..., there came the Meat Eaters!!!!!!!..........

I was sitting on the bank resting and dreaming of JAMES BOND Tuxedos, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS Countesses , Casinos, A Dunhill Lighter, (like His), and kinda noticed shadows swimming around Joel. 5 or 7? I blinked and then there were 10 or15? and then a school! ...........when Joel SCREAMED OUT IN PAIN AND TERROR !!!!!!!!
As I stood up, He broke the surface , gasping for enough air to SCREAM for help!!
I stood on the banks and reached out as far as I could to grab His hand! Those little fuckers were eating Him ALIVE!!!!! As I was pulling Him out, my left foot was being gnawed on like YOU do to Baby Back Ribs! (GET ALL THAT MEAT OFF THE BONE, SUCKA!)
I pulled Him out of the water with 5 OR 7 of those nasty little fuckers still clinging to his body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I beat those little beasties off His body and ran to my pack and grabbed my Army Navy Surplus First Aid Kit! (and hoped to Gawd that it worked!)
I ripped out the powered Sulfa, sprinkled it out on all His wounds , wrapped them as best I could and did some thing I do not do to this day....................I prayed for Him..........

E S D

A Life In The Day (45)

The RIVER of GOLD, PIRANHAS, HEAD HUNTERS and PAPER!

What I am about to say , I give freely, if you so feel inclined to search for "THE RIVER OF GOLD", be it known!!!!!!!!! there are dangers!

We were about 11 clicks W.S.W. of San Jaun de los Morros. As we came to a ridge on our way, we could see that the canopy ahead of us was VERY different from what we had been Thur! We saw shafts of Golden Light that looked SOLID, shining down. We paused before we topped it. It was almost like a "FAIRY WALL", where it was different on other side! Without knowledgeable consent, we BOTH turned off our bikes , leaned them against trees and walked to the summit. It was like a Disney Dream come true! I mean, the birds that flew around!!!!! They were of ALL colors , shapes , sizes and sounds!!!!!!We both just fell on our butts with our arms around our knees and LOOKED!, and LISTENED!

Some of the birds had tails that looked like classic GREEK LYERS, others had beaks at least a foot long colored "pink"with head crested feathers of BRIGHT RED! and wings of Bright Green! others had tail feathers at least 2 feet long! the "Humming Birds " were anywhere from the size of a Bumble Bee to the size of a Bat! We just sat there as tears came to our eyes.........It was as if GAWD had just smiled at us!.........

and the sounds............. I can't EVEN begin to describe!!!! the sounds..... like water delicately falling over stones......... like angels laughing............like the sound of your baby brother laughing as you tickle him..........as your kitten sits on your chest and looks at you square in the eyes and "PURRS" SO LOUD that you wonder if a "Mack" truck just went by..........

We sat there for what seemed hours! As it turned out? it Was hours! hahahaha. It seemed as if all our SINS were absolved! This was our Xanadu.

Eventually we got our shit together and decided to make camp here . We gathered our gear and walked to the stream that we saw about 60-70 yards away. After clearing a site for the night, We made a fire,(and the funny thing is that we didn't feel as if we had to sleep in the trees this night.). We gathered dead wood for a fire and ate our dried meat and drank herbal tea. There was a profusion of "water vines", so we didn't need to worry about the kind of water we wished to drink.(the choice was , either 1), healthy, mineral ladened water? . or 2) cool?)) . haha. We didn't either smoke reefer or eat "Wacky Fruit" or drink Tequila. WE WERE IN XANADU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (or so we thought..............)

The next morning, after being awakened by winged angels dropping laughter drops in our ears, we stoked the fire and had coffee, Joel said He was going for a swim I said "cool, I wanna check the bikes."

After I had checked the points, plugs, batteries and His tire. hahaha, I got my paper from my pack and brought my journal up to date. (remember ? that I had said that "Papa Hemingway", was/is my HERO?), I started to write my encounter with THIS NEW WORLD(!), to me. I / WE both had a ream of paper for different reasons! Joel? 1/2 ream for charcoal sketching paper, the other Water Color drawings, Me Stickily writing! (remember , the title said "and PAPER?), SOON! HAHAHA.

As I was laboring over my minds encounter with the night before, Joel came up to me , all wet and shit , and asked ,

"Do you remember any thing from chemistry class?"

"yeah, a little.", I said. (you, as the reader have to know that Joel was an extremely smart guy!).

"Well, can you tell the difference between PYRITE and GOLD?", as He held out His hand with 2 nuggets the size of pigeon eggs in His hand. (personally , I thought He ate a bit of the "wacky fruit". but I smiled and humored Him and said,"sure, lets go see."We went over to the "bikes" , and I popped the seat, got the tool kit, and opened a plug of the battery chamber.

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I had remembered a class test that Mr. SMITHE, the chemistry class teacher, had conducted one day to see the difference between Gold and Pyrite , just to show off , I think/thought. He had 2 samples of both pyrite had Gold. He had gotten a vile of Hydrochloric or Sulfuric Acid, and laid a dab of both on each. The resulting colors designated the truth of each, so I did the same.

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I looked a t Him with eyes the size of dinner plates and asked as calmly as I could,

"WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THIES?",

'In the river, over there." He said,in amusement, as He pointed.

"GET OUT OF HERE!", I sputtered, with all the class of a 17 year old!

"HOLY SHIT, MAN! SHOW ME!!!", as I jumped up and started to run to where He pointed. I looked over my shoulder and yelled again, as I ran, " COME ON MAN! SHOW ME!!!!!". As I turned and ran to the river, I ran smack into a tree and knocked myself out cold!

The next morning I woke up to the smell of coffee, eggs frying in bores fat and pan bread made the old fashion way like they did on the parries in the old west. Oh yeah, and a bump on my forehead the size of a goose egg! I struggled to sit up holding my head so it wouldn't fall off, I looked down to see that Joel had placed what looked like 2 handfuls of "GOLD NUGGETS" by the coffee pot! For what seemed like hours, I stared at the GOLD and thoughts of freedom, education, travel, education, women, education, clean cloths and eduction. (actually, it was probably all of 2 minutes.)It never entered my mind that it was mine' or Joels...... but more like just ours.......I looked up at Joel as He cooked the breakfast with a Cheshire cat's grin on His face, as He said, "after we eat, we'll go get some more.", and He laughed. I MEAN REALLY LAUGHED!

As we ate , we vocalised our dreams for the future to be. As I suspected, Joel was basically dreaming along the same lines as I was. He told me about how this might pay for His way to "THE SORBONNE, in PARIS", to study His art and how His parents would shit when they got a card from Him in PARIS!, and how He intended to frequent ALL the whore Houses He could just to be like a famous artist, but at least not starve like they did! To hell with that! HAHAHAHA

After we finished breakfast and cleaned up our "boy scout mess kits", We WALKED to the river! hahahaha.

E S D

A Life In The Day (44)

ATTACK of the KILLER MOTHS

or

TWO SCREAMING GIRLY MEN-(again)

The next morning we had seen the wrath of the boar sow ! hahahaha. She woke up out of her stupor, PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!! The vegetation was thoroughly trashed! She was like my older sister on PMS!. We were lucky that we had decided to sleep in the trees! The funny thing was , that we didn't hear a thing ...........go figure!

The foliage was too close for Joel to use his sling so I went to shot our breakfast with my WHAMO sling shot. I came back with 2 birds and 1 monkey.By this time we had become accustom to the type of foods we ate. Hell, even lizards and snakes were fair game! hahahaha. We had tried to eat as little of our stores as possible and attempted to live off the land as best we could to conserve things like salt, sterno,a few canned goods, floor, coffee, sugar and rock candy.

I have to say at this point , that were it not for the fact that we had basically, dirt bikes , we would not have done so well in our travelings. Also remember that we were getting at LEAST 60MPG with 5 gallon tanks.

We proceeded to clean up our camp site and left no trace of our stay,(which in MY future in Africa, SAVED MY ASS MANY TIMES, and you will read of it in later chapters.), we left our site as we had come to it. Pristine,(we really didn't have to worry much anyway, seeing as how the jungle would cover over our existence in 24 hrs. ), but Joel and I both shared the same thoughts about MOTHER EARTH, we were her guests!

Joel's ankle was much better now, so he could kick over his own bike, now! hahahaha. We had saddled up and rode on, comming to the town of Merida, in the country of Venezuela. Needless to say, after Joel and I had secured rooms, WHERE DO YOU THINK WE WENT? HAHAHAHAHA, YOU GOT IT! any Cantina and BORDELLO!!! WHOA WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! hey folks! we are still 17! WITH RAGING HORMONES!!!!!

Again , as usual , Joel and I made friends with the kids of the town and gleaned all kinds of information about what we might face in our travels south, and were told that the "DISNEYLAND FRUIT". STILL GREW FURTHER SOUTH. Joel had not tasted of it yet! HAHAHAHAHA! Get ready folks! (grin!). During one of our last nights in town, shitfaced, at some great cantina, I had an epiphany (sp?), ah, an enlightened moment?, that I should get a "bicycle tire " patch kit! When I told this to Joel, he stared at me with such a serious face that I wondered if I had insulted him, He might be ready to hit me! All He did was, after a second or 2, was to start laughing so hard that He fell off His stool to the dirt floor, holding His sides with tears on His face,!!!

He looked up at me from the ground and said,

"Pasches? We don need no stinken pasches, gringo!"(from the movie "HOMBRE", starring Paul Newman! , hahahahahahaha).

I just looked down at Him, also laughing, and said,

"yeah Joel! for some reason, I got to get some before we leave town! tomorrow"

SOOO.......before we left the next morning, we sought out a local bicycle shop for "bicycle patch kits", and with Joel still laughing at me, we rode off to our next adventure.

We were about 18 klicks south east of the far side of the mountains, and luckily out of the Heavy jungles, when Joel's bike got a blow-out in His front tire. Joel was riding point as it happened. As His bike went to the right , He went left over the handle bars. I stopped and made sure He was OK, then I started to laugh! As He lay there with dirt on His face and in His mouth looking up at me , looking so fucking pathetic, I started laughing harder!

As He lay there, I wiped the tears from my face and said,

"paches? We don need no stinken paches, gringo!".

I laughed even harder!!!!!!!!! And to Joel's credit? He blushed and said , with a grin on His face,

"OK , fuck you!".

As we sat there , I asked Joel to get some food while I set up camp and checked out the damage to His bike. I had His bike leaning against a tree and a fire going when He came with our food. We ate well that night, I then said that we should climb a tree to sleep and tie ourselves in, and in the morning I would fix the tire.

The next morning, He watched as I , AFTER coffee (!), had Him help me "pop" His tire and then took His belt! (not mine, hahahaha), and cut off a 3" strip to place between the inner tube and the tire, meanwhile ! I made Him "PASCH"(! HAHAHA), HISS OWN TIRE!!!!!! to give us some time to get to a town.................HA HA HA , it worked!, as we set off to the Southwest of Caracas. we passed south of Barinas, and came to some intense jungles! (GET READY FOLKS!), about 60 klicks from the jungles!( I'M HAVING MORE FUN THEN YOU!) /GRIN !!!!!!!!

We were about half way and to the south of both, Portuegesa and Cojedes, when we came to find a jungle camp site for the nite. (I had it in mind to NOW turn Joel on to the wacky fruit!! (hahaha). That evening Joel went for game , and I set up camp.

It's almost as if we knew what we were doing!. We had plenty of food to eat, it was roasting, and we still had some weed. Joel was thirsty, so I showed Him the "vines" to get water from. I impressed the hell out of Him! Then I told Him what CARLOS HAD TAUGHT ME! . Then Joel thought I could walk on water! hahaha. We had a good meal, smoked a bit, and having fed our stomachs?, I thought We would be safe in the trees, from the night, by what could happen! (dumb Me!).! We had NO idea!!!!!!

Remember , that We were wearing "PENDELTON. Flannel Shirts", FLANNEL! THE GARB OF THE 60'S ! WITH MUD ALL OVER US! HAHAHAHHA.! (necks , face, arms, hair.). We climbed a tree worth a Fairy Tale Novel!, We tided ourselves on to the limbs of the tree SO AS NOT (!), to fall out as We slept, and ate a bit of the "wacky fruit" for desert?! Now! hahahahahahha, go pee, now!

We had picked out 2 limbs close enough to each other to pass smokes, reefer or "fruit", (arms length apart). The night was humid , as usual, there was no moon, just a sky full of stars. We had finished tying ourselves in, And We had refrained from smoking more then a puff or 2 during the meal. As We lay on our, "beds", Joel and I took a small bite of the "fruit". We had full stomachs and weren't sure how long after we ate, that it would take to "kick"in. I knew, and told Joel that We should start out "easy", and see what kind of buzz we might catch!

After what seemed AGES!!!!!!!............. We started to see thingggggsssss aaaaa littttttleee dddiiiiiiffeeerrentlyyyyyyyyyyy..........(DO ANY OF YOU OUT THERE REMEMBER THE 60'S PHYCODELIC NIGHT CLUBS? where you might have seen "Gracie Slick"? , or " Janice Joplin", singing on stage with a BIG movie screen behind them, and a high school overhead projector with the colored "AMOEBA" PULSATING BEHIND THEM TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC?)

Well, things started to become fun! Joel and I were up in our"beds",Tied in, laughing merrily, having , SOooo, much fun...........and then it happened!!........... hahahahahahahahahaha..We BOTH started to see the stars pulsate!!!!!!! to some beat! and I said as much to Joel!!!!! He said , " Yeah! I see it to!".

then He started laughing! I then asked,

"what the fucks so funny?"He answered,

"Opps! , it's me farting!", and we went into another fit of laughing! We were having a ball! Then He asked me for a cigarette!

I gave Him one and a stick match and did the same for myself. I wanted to see a Super Nova , and said as much to Joel then said ,

"on the count of 3 ! lets fire up!"

I counted down to 1, like astronauts ready to blast off to the moon! ...........At 1 we both fired up! __________________________________________________________________(Have any of you out there been at a party? or even at home and made "shadow" creatures with you hands on a wall? like hooking your thumbs together and fingers spread WIDE? to something that looked like a scary "KILLER MOTHS!!!!!!!"?__________________________________________________________________

EDITORS NOTE:

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Antheraea polyphemus:

The Polyphemus moth (Antheraea polyphemus) is a member of the Saturniidae family, or giant silk moths. It is a tan colored moth, with an average wingspan of 6 inches (15 cm) PER WING!. The most notable feature of the moth is its large, purplish eyespots on its two hindwings. The eye spots are where it gets its name – from the Greek myth of the Cyclops Polyphemus. The caterpillar of the Polyphemus moth can eat 86,000 times its weight at emergence in a little less than two months.

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Within seconds of the matches starting to flare! We were ATTACKED by what seemed 10,000 KILLER VAMPIRE MOTHS!!!!! ALL ATTRACTED TO THE FLAMES!!!!!!! AND WE WERE TO STONED to do ANYTHING OTHER THEN SCREAM!!!! AND SCREAM!!!!! AND SCREAM!!!! AND THRASH !!!!! AND SCREAM !!!!!!!!! (remember the FLANNEL SHIRTS?), THOSE LITTLE NASTY FUCKS KEPT CLINGING WITH THEIR SPINY LEGS TO OUR SHIRTS , and WOULDN'T LET GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

We were shitting our pants and SCREAMING!!!!!! AND BEATING AT PHANTOMS! AND SCREAMING!!!!!! and they kept coming at us!! They were releasing pheromones!!!!!!!!!! AND JUST ATTRACTED MORE FUCKING MOTHS!!!!!!!!! We were pissing ourselves and twisting to get out of the tree........AND SCREAMING!!!!!!

The powder from the wings of the moths, the bodies of them in and on our faces, the fact that We were stoned from/on the "Wacky Fruit", meant that We were in the toilet bowl of THE LAND OF OZ!

The next morning found us hanging from our feet about 4' off the ground with our backs to each other.We both woke at the same time, SCREAMING!! , then realised that it was day! I asked Joel to get his "boy scout" knife to cut ourselves loose. He got His knife out of His pocket, AND DROPPED IT! (THE KLUTZ!), so I tried for mine, and succeeded! I did a belly crunch, grabbed His leg, pulled myself up, and told Him to get ready, "on the count of 3! ". I WOULD CUT HIS LINE! I counted 1, and cut the line! HAHAHAHAHAHA...........

After I stopped laughing, I did a crunch and cut my own line. As we both got to our knees, we looked around and saw HUNDREDS!!!!!!! of dead moths! some still flapping around, then we looked at each other and fell on our backs LAUGHING our asses off! We looked as if someone had thrown FLOWER in our faces!!! AND THEN THE SMELL HIT OUR NOSES WITH ALL THE SUBTLETY OF A MACK TRUCK in the BATHROOM! The night before we had had the shit, literally, scared out of us, and the piss! hahahahaha. And this was the first time I had EVER seen shit roll UP-HILL, at least to our belts as we hung upside down! We smelled disgusting!!!!!!

We made our way to the stream and were ready to bathe when I reminded Joel NOT(!) TO PEE WHILE IN THE WATER!!!!!!!!! and about the parasites that follow the Uric Acid of the piss to its source and lodge themselves in your Urethra and cannot be dislodged!(very painful!)

After we and our clothes were clean and before we were dry, we rolled in the mud of the banks and dressed, went back to camp , and didn't EVEN want to eat there! hahahahha, and rode on for a few miles before we did! The whole time, Joel kept saying,"WOW MAN!!! WHOA, WHAT A FUCKING TRIP MAN!!!!!!!! WHEN CAN WE DO IT AGAIN???????" The whole time I'm thinking, " not in the fucking jungle!"

E S D

A Life In The DAY (43)

JOEL- A BARREL OF LAUGHS and WET PANTS

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When I got back to town , my first stop was to the Cantina con el nobre del ,"la playa del anjelos"

What a piece of shit that was for a name!? there was no beach! ha ha ha and there were no angels there either!!!!!!!!!! but they did have great food!!!! and a shit load of hooch! and girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day after I had sated my hunger for civilised "Stuff", I went to see Joel at the hospital and found out when we could leave. Apparently He was mended so I took Him to my room after we went to the cantina. While we sat there eating and drinking, He kept asking me all sorts of questions about what I had done.

Joel , knowing that I was as crazy as He was, sat there in awe as I told Him of what happened in the jungle with the bitches and the pack mentality in the past 5 days and all the things that I had learned about jungle survival. And He was incredulous when I told Him of the "WACKY" fruit that Carlos introduced me to. After breakfast , we went to check out our bikes, get extra plugs, filled our food bags. Joel's leg was still a bit tender so I had to kick it over, then He got in the saddle,. We looked at each other and laughed, at what we would face in more, new adventures!

At our first campsite, I shared some of the things that Carlos had told me, like how to keep the mosquitoes away from us, which had been pretty much become a pain in the ass with us,(no pun!). So when we camped for the first night after His release, We made sure we stopped by a slow ambling stream with muddy banks. Before we set up camp, I told Joel to follow me to the stream and talk off His clothes, as I took off mine. I then told Him to follow my lead and lie down in the mud and wallow in it, (at least He didn't think I was too crazy! hahahaha). Since it was still perty warm , I told Joel to walk around until the mud dried on us. After that we put on our clothes, looked at each other AND CRACKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahah.Two goofier looking guys have never walked civilized earth before! It was good to hear Joel laugh!, BUT IT did KEEP THE BUGS AWAY! We did this each and every morning before we started to ride again.

For the most part our journey was pretty much uneventful ...............with the exception of our encounter of the SOW BOAR! ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!

OK FOLKS! NOW GO PEE !!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha , you will if you haven't, after reading this part!!!!!!!

It all happened just over the mountain range , in the valley jungle, on a day that Joel wanted to rest early. We were on no time schedule.

We were about 40 or 50 "klicks" south west of San Christobal. We had made camp early in the day. While Joel was setting up camp, I went to gather food of any sort, I carried my WHAMO slingshot with me, I had seen the fruit tree of, "the magical mystery tour bus", and decided to REALLY show Joel all about it!

The sun wasn't even down yet when I came back with 2 monkeys and a bird , AND 1 BIG RIPE Fruit from the tree of DISNEY LAND! hahahaha. As we sat there prepping our food , we heard a strange type of ..........SQUEAL (?)

After , both of us having been "good boy scouts", and living in the jungle for the time we did,we both knew "tracking" skills. The local Indians would have thought we were of the tribe! (WHICH WILL HAPPEN LATER!!) hahaha. We proceeded to go from down wind to the sound. (We made ourselves VERY PROUD! )

We creeped up with stealth and came to the ridge. As we looked over, we both dropped our jaws!!!!!!! hahahaha, what we saw was beyond belief!!!!!!!!

There before us, not 20 yards in front of us, was a MASSIVE Boar Sow that had to be at LEAST 3 feet at the shoulders, and at her feet, between her legs, was a remnant of the Wacky fruit she had eaten! She must have eaten the WHOLE THING! hahahaha ..

She just stood there with all 4 feet spread apart just looking at the tree trunk in front of her, STARING!! hahahahahaha. Her mouth was agape , drooling AND JUST STARING!!!! HAHAHA HA ......Her eyes were glassy like any good "DOPER" of the day!, HAHAHAHA...........

All 8 of her teats were dripping milk like poor plumbing in BEDFORD STY.HAHAHAHAHA

Her tail was like those old "whamo" toys that, as a kid we would hook up to a water hose , turn on the water and have it go BONKERS in the air , spraying water all around! Her tail looked like it was on "speed!". hahahahahahaha !!!............

Joel and I lay there LAUGHING our asses off!!!!!! We couldn't contain ourselves! HA HA HA HA HA . We were rolling on the ground!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA .....LAUGHING AND PISSING OUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ......We looked even sillier by the fact that the tears running down our muddied faces, were leaving tracks that made us look even funnier!!

We had to hold each other up as we walked back to camp, because of our laughing fits. Every time we would stop our laughing , Joel or I would "OINK", AND OFF WE'D GO AGAIN, LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We staggered like drunks on a bender, but all we had was a little "Sangria", to wet our whistles. As our food cooked, I told Joel that that was what the "wacky fruit" did to those that ate of it in any amount.

We decided to sleep in the trees that night for safety's sake, in case the Boar Sow came around pissed and hungry after she came down from her "high".

E S D

A Life In The Day (42)

the JUNGLE and the BITCHES (part 3)

or

(am I still alive?)

The rest of this narrative is going to be a bit confused, owing to the fact that not knowing what I was about to get into, and still thinking that I knew it all, (remember that I'm 17 and STUPID!), I had a piece of that psychedelic fruit cut into the sizes of dice cubes, and carried them in my pocket.

I ate one piece about a mile before I got to the clearing, LUCKY ME!

By the time I got to within 100 yards of the Pack, I was crawling on all 4's, and that alone saved my life , as it is.

As I approached the pack on my hands and knees, the juvenile males ,(dogs), were the first to approach me at a run and surround me, the bulk of the pack,(the bitches),came next. All in all, I would have said there were no more then 40 animals in total, excluding the "pups".

I remembered things that I had read in school about animals in general, dogs specifically about never, 1) to not look aggressive to a strange dog, never look at it directly in the eyes. 2) never show your teeth, as in a smile. 3) that to show submissiveness , lie on your back and bear your neck.(the last part coming from "Jack London's "Call of the Wild"". Does any of this sound juuussst A little bit crazy?(you bet my ass it did!!!!!!!), but at 17 and you're Superman and there ain't no Kyrtonite, what the fuck!

The Dogs AND the Bitches were ALL slavering, fangs bared! The BEST thing that happened to me was, because I was SO tired and with REALLY hurting knees and stoned, was for me to collapse! To the pack? I didn't look like a boar, or a panther or ........like much of anything they might have encountered. I didn't seem to present any threat to them as they knew it, thanks to the mud covering, I did not smell of disease, I did not manifest a threat, they smelled on fear, just a curiosity. I DON'T MEAN TO BE ANTHROPOMORPHIC of them in ANY way, but it was as if they had no idea what I was, and was a conundrum to them?

I slowly turned over on my back and put my head back.(I have to say here that the average size of the pack was about the size of big Cocker Spaniels and the GRAND DAME was the size of a German Shepard.), as I looked at Her coming to me I had one thought in mind, DISNEY LAND! (none of this was real to me!). The next part is REALLY strange! The queen bitch came cautiously over to me and began to "sniff" me all over from crotch, butt, arm pits and my hair.Now here comes the really weird part! When it seemed that She had satisfied Herself, in Her own way, She then proceeded to STRADDLE me and take a "piss" on me! The whole time all this was happening , the pack was barking, growling and basically going ape shit!

I had read about dogs manifesting territorial rites with their urine, BUT PLEASE!!!! ON ME? ha ha ha ha . Apparently I was.... ok?....Hers?....ha ha ha, (GO FIGURE!)

At that point, the pack seemed to calm down, I still lay there wondering .........what the fuck?......... Eventually, I turned over again and crawled to the base of the nearest tree and watched the workings of the "pack"! I was basically left unharmed, but with a "guard" of at least 1/2 dozen "juvenile dogs!"but after awhile it seemed that I was accepted , mainly due to the fact that I had the "QUEEN BITCHES"scent on me! (I was Hers'?, again, go figure!)

lucky for me , I don't live to eat!, and there were plenty of fruits to gather and berries to eat. It seemed as long as I did NOT stand up on 2 feet, I would NOT cause the pack to freak out!

In the first 2 days I came to see how the pack existed. It appeared that this was a "FEMALE " pack of dogs. When a MALE juvenile attained his sexual majority,(puberty), it was cast out of the pack with real anger!, and threats of death! There was 1 male who seemed to challenge the rule. Apparently it wanted to become the "ALPHA DOG!". He fought with tenacity,valor... He was ripped apart!...........by the pack of bitches!

When ever I had to pass water , I would crawl over to some rocks that were on the outskirts of the clearing, and while still on all 4's would just "pee". The whole time it seemed that I had acquired an admirer! HA HA HA HA . A Gorgeous, Golden, Young, Beauty of curiosity, mirth and humor(?) a VERY Sweet Bitch. ha ha ha . fuck today's ridiculous world of PC bullshit!

I couldn't go anywhere without GOLDIE, (that's what I named Her.), following me! ha ha ha ha ha . After many attempts at being able to touch Her, She finally succumbed to my charms and would allow me to pet Her. I did not know what I had done!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA . She was all over me like a cheap suit!!!!! When I would go to sleep? She would be lying on me or close to my stomach.When I went to a pool of water to "refresh" my mud, She would be on the bank looking at me like, the" R C A pup", looking into the speaker with Her head canted and saying .........."YOUR SILLY!"

By the 3'rd day Goldie and I were inseparable! Now do you remember that I had said that I only came into this world of Bitches with cut-offs and a straw hat? Well, that hat was almost my undoing! As it turned out, Goldie and I were playing and a strong wind came up! It blew my hat off. Goldie scrambled after it and grabbed it in Her mouth and started to swing it around like a rag doll! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! THATS MY HAT!!!!!!!!! I got up and started to run after Her to get my hat back! It was ratty , torn up, beat to shit!!!!!!!! WRONG THING TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!! instantly the pack turned on me and ran with the thought that either I was a threat? or "snausages, snack food!", I immediately fell on my back and bared my neck! In an instant, Goldie was at my side, hell! She was on my chest! growling and barking with death in Her eyes! but not aimed at me! She was apparently staving off the others! For what seemed a life time , She PROTECTED ME!!!!!!!!!!! literally telling them to BACK OFF!

In retrospect, She, GOLDIE, saved my life!

As the pack finally, reluctantly, left me. Goldie pee-ed on me also!!!!!!!! in my mind is going, (am I Hers now?), B F D ! THANK YOU GOLDIE! I then turned on my belly and crawled to the tree that I had made mine, with Goldie at my rear.(NO PUN!).

Day 4 was FUN FOR BOTH OF US! I had come to a fruit tree with a fruit that looked like a cross between a plumb and a peach. I picked one up and started to eat it, whereupon Goldie stared at me as I ate. She saw me eat it and with the look of intelligence, wondered what the fuck was I doing?! I smiled with no teeth, just a smile.

She sniffed my face, then my fingers, then looked at me.(again with Her head cocked!). I cut 2 pieces of the fruit and held them in my hand. I took 1 piece and slowly and deliberately put it into my mouth, then held out my hand to Her with the other! After sniffing and looking at me, She leaned over to take the piece of fruit in Her mouth!!!!!!!!!! O M G !!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha .

have you EVER seen a dog Smile???????

It is a cross between Constipation, Gas, OR JUST AN ANIMAL GRIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! GOLDIE LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We lay there for a long time on the jungle floor just eating fruit ! Goldie's tail was wagging faster then a metronome on "speed" ! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A DOG "FART"? HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!! OR BURP?!!!!!!!!!!!!HA HA HA HA .....we were both having fun!! I matched Her BLAST for BLAST!!!! As I crawled back to the clearing with Goldie at my side and went to "our "tree", I had thoughts of depression.......

That night as we slept, with Goldie "spooning " to me at my belly, I started crying....and smiling.......my tears were for the fact that on the marrow I knew I would have to leave.....smiles? for the fact that Goldie would "fart" every now and then...ha ha ha ha ha......

On day 5 , at dawn, I went to the stream and drank with Goldie by my side...........I crawled to a fruit tree and shared my repast with Goldie, then crawled in the direction of my "bike", again with Goldie at my side............I went to as far as I was when I first heard "the pack", and went a little further on all 4's . At about 200 yards from "the clearing" I stood up! Goldie shrank to her belly, tail put under Her! I said at that time in a gental voice,

"go back",

and walked on. After , I don't know ..so many yards, I looked back and saw Goldie! I then said in a louder voice,

"go back!"

and continued..........by the time I was at my "bike", I was crying...........then I heard a "yip", I looked back to see Goldie there on the ground with THAT look! I was devastated! I reached down and picked up some dirt and threw it at Her! screaming,

"GO BACK"

I knew that SHE would not fare well in my world!!! SHE ran only a short distance and turned to me. By this time I can't see well for all my tears...........I cleared my bike of all the "CAMO" ,then got my sandals. put them on , primed the "carbs" and kicked the starter! At the sound of it kicking over, GOLDIE ran!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVEN'T CRIED THIS MUCH SINCE THE DAY MY FATHER DIED ON MY 10'TH BIRTHDAY...........

E S D