A Life In The Day (44)

ATTACK of the KILLER MOTHS

or

TWO SCREAMING GIRLY MEN-(again)

The next morning we had seen the wrath of the boar sow ! hahahaha. She woke up out of her stupor, PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!! The vegetation was thoroughly trashed! She was like my older sister on PMS!. We were lucky that we had decided to sleep in the trees! The funny thing was , that we didn't hear a thing ...........go figure!

The foliage was too close for Joel to use his sling so I went to shot our breakfast with my WHAMO sling shot. I came back with 2 birds and 1 monkey.By this time we had become accustom to the type of foods we ate. Hell, even lizards and snakes were fair game! hahahaha. We had tried to eat as little of our stores as possible and attempted to live off the land as best we could to conserve things like salt, sterno,a few canned goods, floor, coffee, sugar and rock candy.

I have to say at this point , that were it not for the fact that we had basically, dirt bikes , we would not have done so well in our travelings. Also remember that we were getting at LEAST 60MPG with 5 gallon tanks.

We proceeded to clean up our camp site and left no trace of our stay,(which in MY future in Africa, SAVED MY ASS MANY TIMES, and you will read of it in later chapters.), we left our site as we had come to it. Pristine,(we really didn't have to worry much anyway, seeing as how the jungle would cover over our existence in 24 hrs. ), but Joel and I both shared the same thoughts about MOTHER EARTH, we were her guests!

Joel's ankle was much better now, so he could kick over his own bike, now! hahahaha. We had saddled up and rode on, comming to the town of Merida, in the country of Venezuela. Needless to say, after Joel and I had secured rooms, WHERE DO YOU THINK WE WENT? HAHAHAHAHA, YOU GOT IT! any Cantina and BORDELLO!!! WHOA WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! hey folks! we are still 17! WITH RAGING HORMONES!!!!!

Again , as usual , Joel and I made friends with the kids of the town and gleaned all kinds of information about what we might face in our travels south, and were told that the "DISNEYLAND FRUIT". STILL GREW FURTHER SOUTH. Joel had not tasted of it yet! HAHAHAHAHA! Get ready folks! (grin!). During one of our last nights in town, shitfaced, at some great cantina, I had an epiphany (sp?), ah, an enlightened moment?, that I should get a "bicycle tire " patch kit! When I told this to Joel, he stared at me with such a serious face that I wondered if I had insulted him, He might be ready to hit me! All He did was, after a second or 2, was to start laughing so hard that He fell off His stool to the dirt floor, holding His sides with tears on His face,!!!

He looked up at me from the ground and said,

"Pasches? We don need no stinken pasches, gringo!"(from the movie "HOMBRE", starring Paul Newman! , hahahahahahaha).

I just looked down at Him, also laughing, and said,

"yeah Joel! for some reason, I got to get some before we leave town! tomorrow"

SOOO.......before we left the next morning, we sought out a local bicycle shop for "bicycle patch kits", and with Joel still laughing at me, we rode off to our next adventure.

We were about 18 klicks south east of the far side of the mountains, and luckily out of the Heavy jungles, when Joel's bike got a blow-out in His front tire. Joel was riding point as it happened. As His bike went to the right , He went left over the handle bars. I stopped and made sure He was OK, then I started to laugh! As He lay there with dirt on His face and in His mouth looking up at me , looking so fucking pathetic, I started laughing harder!

As He lay there, I wiped the tears from my face and said,

"paches? We don need no stinken paches, gringo!".

I laughed even harder!!!!!!!!! And to Joel's credit? He blushed and said , with a grin on His face,

"OK , fuck you!".

As we sat there , I asked Joel to get some food while I set up camp and checked out the damage to His bike. I had His bike leaning against a tree and a fire going when He came with our food. We ate well that night, I then said that we should climb a tree to sleep and tie ourselves in, and in the morning I would fix the tire.

The next morning, He watched as I , AFTER coffee (!), had Him help me "pop" His tire and then took His belt! (not mine, hahahaha), and cut off a 3" strip to place between the inner tube and the tire, meanwhile ! I made Him "PASCH"(! HAHAHA), HISS OWN TIRE!!!!!! to give us some time to get to a town.................HA HA HA , it worked!, as we set off to the Southwest of Caracas. we passed south of Barinas, and came to some intense jungles! (GET READY FOLKS!), about 60 klicks from the jungles!( I'M HAVING MORE FUN THEN YOU!) /GRIN !!!!!!!!

We were about half way and to the south of both, Portuegesa and Cojedes, when we came to find a jungle camp site for the nite. (I had it in mind to NOW turn Joel on to the wacky fruit!! (hahaha). That evening Joel went for game , and I set up camp.

It's almost as if we knew what we were doing!. We had plenty of food to eat, it was roasting, and we still had some weed. Joel was thirsty, so I showed Him the "vines" to get water from. I impressed the hell out of Him! Then I told Him what CARLOS HAD TAUGHT ME! . Then Joel thought I could walk on water! hahaha. We had a good meal, smoked a bit, and having fed our stomachs?, I thought We would be safe in the trees, from the night, by what could happen! (dumb Me!).! We had NO idea!!!!!!

Remember , that We were wearing "PENDELTON. Flannel Shirts", FLANNEL! THE GARB OF THE 60'S ! WITH MUD ALL OVER US! HAHAHAHHA.! (necks , face, arms, hair.). We climbed a tree worth a Fairy Tale Novel!, We tided ourselves on to the limbs of the tree SO AS NOT (!), to fall out as We slept, and ate a bit of the "wacky fruit" for desert?! Now! hahahahahahha, go pee, now!

We had picked out 2 limbs close enough to each other to pass smokes, reefer or "fruit", (arms length apart). The night was humid , as usual, there was no moon, just a sky full of stars. We had finished tying ourselves in, And We had refrained from smoking more then a puff or 2 during the meal. As We lay on our, "beds", Joel and I took a small bite of the "fruit". We had full stomachs and weren't sure how long after we ate, that it would take to "kick"in. I knew, and told Joel that We should start out "easy", and see what kind of buzz we might catch!

After what seemed AGES!!!!!!!............. We started to see thingggggsssss aaaaa littttttleee dddiiiiiiffeeerrentlyyyyyyyyyyy..........(DO ANY OF YOU OUT THERE REMEMBER THE 60'S PHYCODELIC NIGHT CLUBS? where you might have seen "Gracie Slick"? , or " Janice Joplin", singing on stage with a BIG movie screen behind them, and a high school overhead projector with the colored "AMOEBA" PULSATING BEHIND THEM TO THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC?)

Well, things started to become fun! Joel and I were up in our"beds",Tied in, laughing merrily, having , SOooo, much fun...........and then it happened!!........... hahahahahahahahahaha..We BOTH started to see the stars pulsate!!!!!!! to some beat! and I said as much to Joel!!!!! He said , " Yeah! I see it to!".

then He started laughing! I then asked,

"what the fucks so funny?"He answered,

"Opps! , it's me farting!", and we went into another fit of laughing! We were having a ball! Then He asked me for a cigarette!

I gave Him one and a stick match and did the same for myself. I wanted to see a Super Nova , and said as much to Joel then said ,

"on the count of 3 ! lets fire up!"

I counted down to 1, like astronauts ready to blast off to the moon! ...........At 1 we both fired up! __________________________________________________________________(Have any of you out there been at a party? or even at home and made "shadow" creatures with you hands on a wall? like hooking your thumbs together and fingers spread WIDE? to something that looked like a scary "KILLER MOTHS!!!!!!!"?__________________________________________________________________

EDITORS NOTE:

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Antheraea polyphemus:

The Polyphemus moth (Antheraea polyphemus) is a member of the Saturniidae family, or giant silk moths. It is a tan colored moth, with an average wingspan of 6 inches (15 cm) PER WING!. The most notable feature of the moth is its large, purplish eyespots on its two hindwings. The eye spots are where it gets its name – from the Greek myth of the Cyclops Polyphemus. The caterpillar of the Polyphemus moth can eat 86,000 times its weight at emergence in a little less than two months.

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Within seconds of the matches starting to flare! We were ATTACKED by what seemed 10,000 KILLER VAMPIRE MOTHS!!!!! ALL ATTRACTED TO THE FLAMES!!!!!!! AND WE WERE TO STONED to do ANYTHING OTHER THEN SCREAM!!!! AND SCREAM!!!!! AND SCREAM!!!! AND THRASH !!!!! AND SCREAM !!!!!!!!! (remember the FLANNEL SHIRTS?), THOSE LITTLE NASTY FUCKS KEPT CLINGING WITH THEIR SPINY LEGS TO OUR SHIRTS , and WOULDN'T LET GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

We were shitting our pants and SCREAMING!!!!!! AND BEATING AT PHANTOMS! AND SCREAMING!!!!!! and they kept coming at us!! They were releasing pheromones!!!!!!!!!! AND JUST ATTRACTED MORE FUCKING MOTHS!!!!!!!!! We were pissing ourselves and twisting to get out of the tree........AND SCREAMING!!!!!!

The powder from the wings of the moths, the bodies of them in and on our faces, the fact that We were stoned from/on the "Wacky Fruit", meant that We were in the toilet bowl of THE LAND OF OZ!

The next morning found us hanging from our feet about 4' off the ground with our backs to each other.We both woke at the same time, SCREAMING!! , then realised that it was day! I asked Joel to get his "boy scout" knife to cut ourselves loose. He got His knife out of His pocket, AND DROPPED IT! (THE KLUTZ!), so I tried for mine, and succeeded! I did a belly crunch, grabbed His leg, pulled myself up, and told Him to get ready, "on the count of 3! ". I WOULD CUT HIS LINE! I counted 1, and cut the line! HAHAHAHAHAHA...........

After I stopped laughing, I did a crunch and cut my own line. As we both got to our knees, we looked around and saw HUNDREDS!!!!!!! of dead moths! some still flapping around, then we looked at each other and fell on our backs LAUGHING our asses off! We looked as if someone had thrown FLOWER in our faces!!! AND THEN THE SMELL HIT OUR NOSES WITH ALL THE SUBTLETY OF A MACK TRUCK in the BATHROOM! The night before we had had the shit, literally, scared out of us, and the piss! hahahahaha. And this was the first time I had EVER seen shit roll UP-HILL, at least to our belts as we hung upside down! We smelled disgusting!!!!!!

We made our way to the stream and were ready to bathe when I reminded Joel NOT(!) TO PEE WHILE IN THE WATER!!!!!!!!! and about the parasites that follow the Uric Acid of the piss to its source and lodge themselves in your Urethra and cannot be dislodged!(very painful!)

After we and our clothes were clean and before we were dry, we rolled in the mud of the banks and dressed, went back to camp , and didn't EVEN want to eat there! hahahahha, and rode on for a few miles before we did! The whole time, Joel kept saying,"WOW MAN!!! WHOA, WHAT A FUCKING TRIP MAN!!!!!!!! WHEN CAN WE DO IT AGAIN???????" The whole time I'm thinking, " not in the fucking jungle!"

E S D

A Life In The DAY (43)

JOEL- A BARREL OF LAUGHS and WET PANTS

..............................

When I got back to town , my first stop was to the Cantina con el nobre del ,"la playa del anjelos"

What a piece of shit that was for a name!? there was no beach! ha ha ha and there were no angels there either!!!!!!!!!! but they did have great food!!!! and a shit load of hooch! and girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day after I had sated my hunger for civilised "Stuff", I went to see Joel at the hospital and found out when we could leave. Apparently He was mended so I took Him to my room after we went to the cantina. While we sat there eating and drinking, He kept asking me all sorts of questions about what I had done.

Joel , knowing that I was as crazy as He was, sat there in awe as I told Him of what happened in the jungle with the bitches and the pack mentality in the past 5 days and all the things that I had learned about jungle survival. And He was incredulous when I told Him of the "WACKY" fruit that Carlos introduced me to. After breakfast , we went to check out our bikes, get extra plugs, filled our food bags. Joel's leg was still a bit tender so I had to kick it over, then He got in the saddle,. We looked at each other and laughed, at what we would face in more, new adventures!

At our first campsite, I shared some of the things that Carlos had told me, like how to keep the mosquitoes away from us, which had been pretty much become a pain in the ass with us,(no pun!). So when we camped for the first night after His release, We made sure we stopped by a slow ambling stream with muddy banks. Before we set up camp, I told Joel to follow me to the stream and talk off His clothes, as I took off mine. I then told Him to follow my lead and lie down in the mud and wallow in it, (at least He didn't think I was too crazy! hahahaha). Since it was still perty warm , I told Joel to walk around until the mud dried on us. After that we put on our clothes, looked at each other AND CRACKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahah.Two goofier looking guys have never walked civilized earth before! It was good to hear Joel laugh!, BUT IT did KEEP THE BUGS AWAY! We did this each and every morning before we started to ride again.

For the most part our journey was pretty much uneventful ...............with the exception of our encounter of the SOW BOAR! ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!

OK FOLKS! NOW GO PEE !!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha , you will if you haven't, after reading this part!!!!!!!

It all happened just over the mountain range , in the valley jungle, on a day that Joel wanted to rest early. We were on no time schedule.

We were about 40 or 50 "klicks" south west of San Christobal. We had made camp early in the day. While Joel was setting up camp, I went to gather food of any sort, I carried my WHAMO slingshot with me, I had seen the fruit tree of, "the magical mystery tour bus", and decided to REALLY show Joel all about it!

The sun wasn't even down yet when I came back with 2 monkeys and a bird , AND 1 BIG RIPE Fruit from the tree of DISNEY LAND! hahahaha. As we sat there prepping our food , we heard a strange type of ..........SQUEAL (?)

After , both of us having been "good boy scouts", and living in the jungle for the time we did,we both knew "tracking" skills. The local Indians would have thought we were of the tribe! (WHICH WILL HAPPEN LATER!!) hahaha. We proceeded to go from down wind to the sound. (We made ourselves VERY PROUD! )

We creeped up with stealth and came to the ridge. As we looked over, we both dropped our jaws!!!!!!! hahahaha, what we saw was beyond belief!!!!!!!!

There before us, not 20 yards in front of us, was a MASSIVE Boar Sow that had to be at LEAST 3 feet at the shoulders, and at her feet, between her legs, was a remnant of the Wacky fruit she had eaten! She must have eaten the WHOLE THING! hahahaha ..

She just stood there with all 4 feet spread apart just looking at the tree trunk in front of her, STARING!! hahahahahaha. Her mouth was agape , drooling AND JUST STARING!!!! HAHAHA HA ......Her eyes were glassy like any good "DOPER" of the day!, HAHAHAHA...........

All 8 of her teats were dripping milk like poor plumbing in BEDFORD STY.HAHAHAHAHA

Her tail was like those old "whamo" toys that, as a kid we would hook up to a water hose , turn on the water and have it go BONKERS in the air , spraying water all around! Her tail looked like it was on "speed!". hahahahahahaha !!!............

Joel and I lay there LAUGHING our asses off!!!!!! We couldn't contain ourselves! HA HA HA HA HA . We were rolling on the ground!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA .....LAUGHING AND PISSING OUR PANTS!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ......We looked even sillier by the fact that the tears running down our muddied faces, were leaving tracks that made us look even funnier!!

We had to hold each other up as we walked back to camp, because of our laughing fits. Every time we would stop our laughing , Joel or I would "OINK", AND OFF WE'D GO AGAIN, LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We staggered like drunks on a bender, but all we had was a little "Sangria", to wet our whistles. As our food cooked, I told Joel that that was what the "wacky fruit" did to those that ate of it in any amount.

We decided to sleep in the trees that night for safety's sake, in case the Boar Sow came around pissed and hungry after she came down from her "high".

E S D

A Life In The Day (42)

the JUNGLE and the BITCHES (part 3)

or

(am I still alive?)

The rest of this narrative is going to be a bit confused, owing to the fact that not knowing what I was about to get into, and still thinking that I knew it all, (remember that I'm 17 and STUPID!), I had a piece of that psychedelic fruit cut into the sizes of dice cubes, and carried them in my pocket.

I ate one piece about a mile before I got to the clearing, LUCKY ME!

By the time I got to within 100 yards of the Pack, I was crawling on all 4's, and that alone saved my life , as it is.

As I approached the pack on my hands and knees, the juvenile males ,(dogs), were the first to approach me at a run and surround me, the bulk of the pack,(the bitches),came next. All in all, I would have said there were no more then 40 animals in total, excluding the "pups".

I remembered things that I had read in school about animals in general, dogs specifically about never, 1) to not look aggressive to a strange dog, never look at it directly in the eyes. 2) never show your teeth, as in a smile. 3) that to show submissiveness , lie on your back and bear your neck.(the last part coming from "Jack London's "Call of the Wild"". Does any of this sound juuussst A little bit crazy?(you bet my ass it did!!!!!!!), but at 17 and you're Superman and there ain't no Kyrtonite, what the fuck!

The Dogs AND the Bitches were ALL slavering, fangs bared! The BEST thing that happened to me was, because I was SO tired and with REALLY hurting knees and stoned, was for me to collapse! To the pack? I didn't look like a boar, or a panther or ........like much of anything they might have encountered. I didn't seem to present any threat to them as they knew it, thanks to the mud covering, I did not smell of disease, I did not manifest a threat, they smelled on fear, just a curiosity. I DON'T MEAN TO BE ANTHROPOMORPHIC of them in ANY way, but it was as if they had no idea what I was, and was a conundrum to them?

I slowly turned over on my back and put my head back.(I have to say here that the average size of the pack was about the size of big Cocker Spaniels and the GRAND DAME was the size of a German Shepard.), as I looked at Her coming to me I had one thought in mind, DISNEY LAND! (none of this was real to me!). The next part is REALLY strange! The queen bitch came cautiously over to me and began to "sniff" me all over from crotch, butt, arm pits and my hair.Now here comes the really weird part! When it seemed that She had satisfied Herself, in Her own way, She then proceeded to STRADDLE me and take a "piss" on me! The whole time all this was happening , the pack was barking, growling and basically going ape shit!

I had read about dogs manifesting territorial rites with their urine, BUT PLEASE!!!! ON ME? ha ha ha ha . Apparently I was.... ok?....Hers?....ha ha ha, (GO FIGURE!)

At that point, the pack seemed to calm down, I still lay there wondering .........what the fuck?......... Eventually, I turned over again and crawled to the base of the nearest tree and watched the workings of the "pack"! I was basically left unharmed, but with a "guard" of at least 1/2 dozen "juvenile dogs!"but after awhile it seemed that I was accepted , mainly due to the fact that I had the "QUEEN BITCHES"scent on me! (I was Hers'?, again, go figure!)

lucky for me , I don't live to eat!, and there were plenty of fruits to gather and berries to eat. It seemed as long as I did NOT stand up on 2 feet, I would NOT cause the pack to freak out!

In the first 2 days I came to see how the pack existed. It appeared that this was a "FEMALE " pack of dogs. When a MALE juvenile attained his sexual majority,(puberty), it was cast out of the pack with real anger!, and threats of death! There was 1 male who seemed to challenge the rule. Apparently it wanted to become the "ALPHA DOG!". He fought with tenacity,valor... He was ripped apart!...........by the pack of bitches!

When ever I had to pass water , I would crawl over to some rocks that were on the outskirts of the clearing, and while still on all 4's would just "pee". The whole time it seemed that I had acquired an admirer! HA HA HA HA . A Gorgeous, Golden, Young, Beauty of curiosity, mirth and humor(?) a VERY Sweet Bitch. ha ha ha . fuck today's ridiculous world of PC bullshit!

I couldn't go anywhere without GOLDIE, (that's what I named Her.), following me! ha ha ha ha ha . After many attempts at being able to touch Her, She finally succumbed to my charms and would allow me to pet Her. I did not know what I had done!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA . She was all over me like a cheap suit!!!!! When I would go to sleep? She would be lying on me or close to my stomach.When I went to a pool of water to "refresh" my mud, She would be on the bank looking at me like, the" R C A pup", looking into the speaker with Her head canted and saying .........."YOUR SILLY!"

By the 3'rd day Goldie and I were inseparable! Now do you remember that I had said that I only came into this world of Bitches with cut-offs and a straw hat? Well, that hat was almost my undoing! As it turned out, Goldie and I were playing and a strong wind came up! It blew my hat off. Goldie scrambled after it and grabbed it in Her mouth and started to swing it around like a rag doll! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! THATS MY HAT!!!!!!!!! I got up and started to run after Her to get my hat back! It was ratty , torn up, beat to shit!!!!!!!! WRONG THING TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!! instantly the pack turned on me and ran with the thought that either I was a threat? or "snausages, snack food!", I immediately fell on my back and bared my neck! In an instant, Goldie was at my side, hell! She was on my chest! growling and barking with death in Her eyes! but not aimed at me! She was apparently staving off the others! For what seemed a life time , She PROTECTED ME!!!!!!!!!!! literally telling them to BACK OFF!

In retrospect, She, GOLDIE, saved my life!

As the pack finally, reluctantly, left me. Goldie pee-ed on me also!!!!!!!! in my mind is going, (am I Hers now?), B F D ! THANK YOU GOLDIE! I then turned on my belly and crawled to the tree that I had made mine, with Goldie at my rear.(NO PUN!).

Day 4 was FUN FOR BOTH OF US! I had come to a fruit tree with a fruit that looked like a cross between a plumb and a peach. I picked one up and started to eat it, whereupon Goldie stared at me as I ate. She saw me eat it and with the look of intelligence, wondered what the fuck was I doing?! I smiled with no teeth, just a smile.

She sniffed my face, then my fingers, then looked at me.(again with Her head cocked!). I cut 2 pieces of the fruit and held them in my hand. I took 1 piece and slowly and deliberately put it into my mouth, then held out my hand to Her with the other! After sniffing and looking at me, She leaned over to take the piece of fruit in Her mouth!!!!!!!!!! O M G !!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha .

have you EVER seen a dog Smile???????

It is a cross between Constipation, Gas, OR JUST AN ANIMAL GRIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! GOLDIE LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We lay there for a long time on the jungle floor just eating fruit ! Goldie's tail was wagging faster then a metronome on "speed" ! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A DOG "FART"? HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!! OR BURP?!!!!!!!!!!!!HA HA HA HA .....we were both having fun!! I matched Her BLAST for BLAST!!!! As I crawled back to the clearing with Goldie at my side and went to "our "tree", I had thoughts of depression.......

That night as we slept, with Goldie "spooning " to me at my belly, I started crying....and smiling.......my tears were for the fact that on the marrow I knew I would have to leave.....smiles? for the fact that Goldie would "fart" every now and then...ha ha ha ha ha......

On day 5 , at dawn, I went to the stream and drank with Goldie by my side...........I crawled to a fruit tree and shared my repast with Goldie, then crawled in the direction of my "bike", again with Goldie at my side............I went to as far as I was when I first heard "the pack", and went a little further on all 4's . At about 200 yards from "the clearing" I stood up! Goldie shrank to her belly, tail put under Her! I said at that time in a gental voice,

"go back",

and walked on. After , I don't know ..so many yards, I looked back and saw Goldie! I then said in a louder voice,

"go back!"

and continued..........by the time I was at my "bike", I was crying...........then I heard a "yip", I looked back to see Goldie there on the ground with THAT look! I was devastated! I reached down and picked up some dirt and threw it at Her! screaming,

"GO BACK"

I knew that SHE would not fare well in my world!!! SHE ran only a short distance and turned to me. By this time I can't see well for all my tears...........I cleared my bike of all the "CAMO" ,then got my sandals. put them on , primed the "carbs" and kicked the starter! At the sound of it kicking over, GOLDIE ran!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVEN'T CRIED THIS MUCH SINCE THE DAY MY FATHER DIED ON MY 10'TH BIRTHDAY...........

E S D

A Life In The Day (41)

the JUNGLE and the BITCHES (part 2)
or
(I'm still alive?)

As Carlos came to me with the fruit in his hand and a slight grin on his face, he bade me to have a small bite.

As I sat there nibbling the fruit which kinda tasted like a "jicima"(the meat looked like that of a turnip), not bland or bitter, kind of a nice nutty taste. I listened to him tell me of the terrain, and what to look for and look out for. He also told me of the tubers, fruit and plants that were eatable, also that if Joel and I were ever hard up for "healthy" water , what kind of vines to look for, (open my boyscout knife and cut the vine on the slant and hold it over my mouth and get ready for the sweetest, healthiest liquid I have ever had!). As I listened to him go on, I began to have trouble with both my hearing and vision......................

(authors note)-

I had not done ACID yet at this time, but in retrospect? WOW!!!!!!!

As Carlos talked it seemed as if his mouth was made out of Jello, with every word he spoke the lower part of his face Giggled! As he looked at me, his eyes looked the way you see the ripples in a pond as you toss a pebble into it, with the circles expanding to infinity. This was some trip!!

As Carlos continued to speak, I seemed to be going thru a metamorphosis. I began to melt into the tree that I was leaning against and seemed to MELT into it! At this point I began to see Carlos from the branches, then the leaves, then the roots and finally the tree itself!

He told me later what he told me then. That depending on the amount that one eats equals the duration of your HIGH!

3 hours later! ha ha ha ha. As I woke up I saw Carlos napping a little ways off. He woke up with a grin on his face and asked me how I felt? ha ha ha ha . I asked . WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED? He started laughing and began to tell me.

He basically said that this was the way many of the men and boys got high with safety. That there was no after effect. That one did NOT become dependant of it, and then again went thru all of what he had said about the jungle foods. We then went back to the town and to a cantina to eat, and asked me more questions about the world. I told him what I could, and gave the only copy of Playboy that I had.

The next morning after I had eaten my fill , I said goodbye to Carlos and Joel, telling Him that I would be away for a week, and set off on my "Horse" for the "Jungle of the Bitches".

I left at about 6 AM. The day was grey and humid and I was young and stupid. I rode for awhile looking at my surroundings to make sure I could find my way back. After a bit of hard riding I came to a rise where I could see the Valley of the ROCKS, and then proceeded to look for a good place to hide and cover my Bike.

As I left the bike and went to where Carlos said the river would be , I left all but the basic clothing I would need to approach the "BITCHES", without the scent of civilization on me. I just wore my cut-offs and a straw hat, plus of course my boy scout knife. Carlo had said that if I came across any mud puddles, to rub it all over myself as best I could for protection against Mosquitoes until I came to a stream to commence my cleansing of odors.

When I got to the stream I took off my cut-offs and my hat, keeping them both in hand and remembered what Carlos had told me , that I was not to pee in the water because small parasitical worms would swim up the stream of warm urine to lodge themselves in your "schlong", and there take up residence to lay eggs for future parasites and eventually go blind, have kidney failure and die! As I walked into the large , slow running stream , I would gather sand from the bottom and start to scrub myself everywhere on my body, from crotch to arm pits., my hair most of all. I then proceeded to wash my cut-offs over and over , even my straw hat. I then came out and put my pants and hat on a large rock to dry and went looking for mud.

When I found an alcove of stagnant water with a shit load of mud , I commenced wallowing in the filth! (YUCK!) When I was completely covered and dried, I went back for my pants and hat, put them on and then walked to where I had heard some barking off in the distance to the north east.

E S D

A Life In The Day (40)

The JUNGLE and the BITCHES (part 1)

or
(I'm still alive?)

We headed south from Las Cumbres to the crossing of just north of Paraiso , 2.7miles south , from there We headed south east to Chiva Chiva, then on to El Sitio. We skirted Panama city, I guess because of our youth , fear of what We had seen , our youthful stupidity of it all, or the fact that We were both just teenagers?

We pretty much rode close to Highway 1 , not close enough to see the road , but within at least 2 to 3 klicks east of it but still in the deserts. Villages were far and few between, but the occasional villages we did come to were of interest, and we to the young guys our age to them, in the respect that we learned of better ways to live off the land that would come to our aid in the upcoming jungles, and us to them in the fact of the world outside their villages.

I had always wondered about the city of Medellin, so we decided to head south west just for the hell of it.We had chosen to make a detour to the city of Antioquia, seeing as how we were in no hurry, and this little aside was to prove rather exciting for me at any rate.

As things turned out we never made it to Medellin We got as far as Antioquia and needless to say Joel and I headed to the nearest cantina.

I don't want you to think I didn't have as stiff a dick as Joel.........but that wasn't what made me think of ........more.

As time went on Joel was trying to forget. In time it would consume Him. We would , in retrospect, would only have months for our futures together as buddies.

At Antioquia we had gone to

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sorry folks , but I had alot on my plate for the past 2/3 weeks ! I'm back now. :)

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OK , where were we? oh yeah!

We STARTED to go to ANTIOQUIA, we never made it there. About 15 ? 18 miles north of Antioquia near a small city of Maledoros, (prophetic? ), we had stopped to rest , resupply and basically talk to more guys to learn about our surroundings. This town did not have a bordello so Joel was S O L , (SHIT OUT OF LUCK), but it did have a great Catina and incredible food! We had spent a few days looking around and getting to know the other kids, who again thought we were the hottest things since pancakes because of our bikes, our money,(about US $300), and our freedom.

It seemed that either kids of our age or our time,(the 60's), or the social depression of the area, or just the fact of the ease of natural procurement made getting high from mother earth easy! ha ha ha ha .

almost back!

Back again,

So as it turned out, we went to the cantina to eat and drink...... ha ha ha . and Joel did his best to proposition the local girls..... not so good luck! He was asked to leave and being my "BUD", I left with him.

As we walked out and down the steps, Joel being "TOASTED!", slipped on a step and twisted an ankle. At that time of night it was difficult to get help.

Nothing could be done until morning. Being in His present state, Joel didn't feel ANY pain! which was a bad thing! He exacerbated His injury! At sunrise we went to the local "medico",and after examination were told that Joel had to keep His leg in traction for at least 2 to 3 weeks or risk...........possible surgery on His leg!

I left Joel in the hospital bed and told Him I would check in with Him at times and walked out depressed for His sake. I went to our bikes to do "busy" work and to think of His health.

As I was cleaning our "plugs", a kid came up to me who we had made a friend of 2 days before as we were eating. I will NEVER forget his name,"CARLOS HERNANDEZ de PICA" . He asked of my friend and his health, and knowing that I ALWAYS carried books with me asked why?

I then told him of the JEWISH ritual equal to Christen Confirmation called "Bar Mitzva", I told him of the ritual of giving GIFTS on completion of the ceremony of passage and of my gifts,"BOOKS". we talked a long time as we walked to the outskirts of the town. He also wanted to know of the outside world and HOW to get there?, and I asked him of the land ......... HERE is where he told me of "BITCHES of the Jungle" that were said to be not only ALL female "dogs" but secular and vicious as well! A few days walk into the jungle,east. And that people kept away form that area. I was dumb enough to insist on more info. I had always been interested in Anthropology of all sorts, even at 17, but since I had an "iron horse", I could get there in 1 day. BUT to stop at the valley of the rocks and walk from there , or I would frighten them! And to bath vigorously to remove any sent of humanity that I could.

As we sat at the jungle, Carlos casually went and picked fruit off a tree that I had not seen before. He offered me one and became VERY cryptic!

E S D

A Life In The Day (39)

NOW, THE WHOREHOUSES and the CORRUPTION in the Canal Zone...........

(and the lions and tigers and bears ...................OH MY .)

We had now come to the CANAL...........

It was difficult traveling with a stranger.....and still my BUDDY.

We went Thur the country of Costa Rice with little mishap,(by this time Joel and I looked like locales with shaggy hair , dirty jeans and such, with the exception of our motorcycles, but they were dirty also.)

We basically had the run of the the city as long as we kept low profiles. We kept our bikes by our rooming house , and for some reason we could always develope rapores with the local kids and for a few pesos would have our bikes looked after.

At this point in time we had no REAL need for money, and Joel and I would walk to the many churches and be floored the the opulence and wealth manifested by "the Church" , those fucking hypocrites! All around us was manifest poverty.and on the 3 occasions that Joel and I attended services,( We were hard pressed to remember NOT to put on our Yarmulkes" , ha ha ha .). and in the Spanish sermon we heard the priest demand for MORE offerings from its congregational, destitute army of Jesus the Christ.

This alone was enough to stress our ............values of socio-religious BULLSHIT! (where was GEORGE CARLIN when I needed Him?!).

Joel and I were maturing both physically and mentally. We were no longer the fat , dorky innocent, JEWISH kids that had started out on this adventure. We were NOW 2 lean, mean , fighting machines of 150 lbs or there abouts, (from the fat safe city of AT LEAST 185 LBS? EACH !! ).

Because of Joel's familiarity with the HOUSES, He would hear things from the "girls" about the local political workings around "this" city that others would not EVEN have a dream of .(I know , bad crammer, do not end a sentence with a preposition! ), tough shit ! this is MY narrative! ha ha ha !

We came to find out and later to see with our own eyes how the system worked at/with the boarder guards.....Ya know folks . at this moment I kinda feel embarrassed to be an American with what We saw at boarder crossings............ (it seems that most Americans -IN THAT TIME FRAME - thought that if THEY didn't know the language of the land , they thought all you had to do was SPEAK LOUDLY!)When Americans, (NOT Europeans, mind you.), encountered boarder officials and came in contact with Boarder Guards , that they could pay their way Thur any problem with American Dollars.

Joel and I would sit at the crossing and play a popular game with other kids and/or guards (if you had the money.), betting on "license plates" that came Thur.We would see and hear the "transactions" that transpired.....If there seemed to be a problem and the American wanted passage , speaking LOUDLY, would be opening himself to be financially "gutted",(like any animal WE had hunted and killed for food .), by the guards.

Later, Joel and I would go to our Cantina of choice to sit, eat, drink and LAUGH! at the happenings of the day ! :)

Thies lessons of STUPIDITY held us in good stead for the future!

I gotta get out of here ! It's too boring to expound on the corruption that We saw and heard.

Like the Magor that would come to this post and COLLECT his daily TAKE !

Crap! It was too blatant a vista of political corruption to go on with.

E S D

A Life In The Day (38)

THE CANAL /CORRUPTION /WHORE HOUSES /GAMBLING?

(oh my )

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We had reached a small village named Sesesmolitos about 3 miles from the Honduran boarder and spent the night more or less to be around living people and gather any news , if any, about the village we left in ruins.

Surreptitiously we ask guys our age if they ,or anyone had heard ANY news about ANY village north west of us about ANYTHING?

There were rumors , but even the ,"ballsy ", guys we talked with ,were too frightened to share.

We didn't push ..............

We didn't encounter any problems crossing the boarders , still ignorant about what happened from others, as we went into Honduras .For some reason We headed to the town of Comoyagua,

not for any particular reason .........

Joel just wasn't the same after our encounter with hells killing field. He didn't smile much any more , but every time We came to any village , town or city , He would , after We found a room to bunk in , would head off to the nearest Cantina and eat a little chow and drink a lot of Tequila , then head off to the nearest Bordello to go fuck His brains out ..........

I was told some times by some of the girls , in the morning when I would come by to pick Him up , that after His sexual bouts with the girls , and would fall into a stupors sleep , that He would cry and scream , "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in His sleep , and it freaked them out !!! but He was NEVER violent ! or so they said .

Crossing the boarders into Guatamala , then into Honduras where the most frightening times of our passage simply because that would be the times that We had to come in Direct contact with Government Boarder Soldiers. Most of the time We drove Thur the country We kept as low a profile as possible. Another aspect in our favor was that We didn't dress or sound like the standard tourists that We saw in all the cities, but more like locals , and the fact that Joel and I spoke Spanish .

Our funds were getting a little low , but it never seemed to be an issue to us . when We were in the plains of Nicaragua , taking our time traveling , Joel started manifesting an aggressiveness in His hunting abilities that I never knew existed .

Now it seemed that He was the food gatherer . On full moon nights We'd go out for Javolinas , We had acquired a taste for the little pig meat. All this time I thought I was GREAT with my WHAMO Slingshot , but I soon found out otherwise. I'd hang back and watch as He stalked the prey. He didn't have the clumsiness that we BOTH started out with when We began Our adventure .

In the beginning He would stand with His arm pointing and looking like a "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE " skit , just waiting for the punch line where "CHEVY CHASE' falls backward with the stone still circling over His head .................but that never came close to manifestation ......He would just stand up for 3 or 4 swings of the stone over His head and then release the missile only to kill our food with a clean shot to the head with all the detachment of one who feels no discomfort in a slaughter house!

We came to the city of Matagalpas in Nicaragua , with a fair population and a small casino. I never even thought that Joel knew anything about gambling.

We were down to about $75.00 , and even then that was a good amount of money for 2 guys in Central America in the 60's, and I really didn't have a problem when Joel wanted to go to the casino and see what He could do . Hell , I was interested also . hahahaha .

(remember that Gawd protected Mad Dawgs , Englishmen and dumb teenagers.................).

( I didn't say that Joel and I both had reams of different types of paper for different mental reasons, which in the future would save both our lives!.)

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Sorry for the temporal dysfunction . was off the NET for 3 weeks . Back on now.

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We came to what I think of as a small Casino by today's standards,(real small).

Joel just seemed like a kid obsessed and walked to a small roulette table , turned to me and ask for money!I gave Him $50. , (what the fuck!). He played BLACK !!!!!!and that was only what He would ONLY play ! (later I asked Him "why ONLY Black?", it wasn't so much cryptic as just over my head. He said "black equals death , red equals pain and suffering...........I'd rather Die then see THAT pain again ! " ).We won $500. on that roll ! Joel was not obsessive . He was sated . We took our money and left! Then I witnessed Joel kill!!!!!!

I was pleasantly fried and Joel should have been with the amount of Tequila He drank.But as I said , He didn't smile much thies days . As we walked to our hotel just talking about banal shit , we came around a corner Thur a short cut in a dark alley when we were confronted by 3 toughs!

with more balls then brains.They told us to give them our money! It took a second for us to react .

(I have to say here that you MUST remember ! that at the beginning of Our Exodus, We were 2 fat , dorky , Jewish kids with no apparent abilities in survival!!!!!!!BUT we read alot! and reading enhances! ).

I kicked out with my left foot to the neck of the guy on my left , his head bounced off the wall behind him , as it came back, I grabbed his hair and came up with my knee to his forehead ! a lot of blood came out !

, as it went up I punched him under his sternum to cause him to lose his breath ! I grabbed his ears and beat his head on the cobble stone as 1 ear came off in my hand! I was pumped up with the Adrenalin of fear ! I looked over to Joel , (all this was in the time span of SECONDS !), JOEL HAD HIT OUT WITH HIS RIGHT FIST IN THE GUYS FOREHEAD ON HIS LEFT! IT BOUNCED OFF THE WALL BEHIND HIM , HE FELL.........he was out for the count !......THE OTHER GOT THE BACK SWING OF HIS FIST TO HIS NOSE AND FELL ON HIS BACK , JOEL straddled him like a girl in heat! and PUNCHED , ! and PUNCHED , and PUNCHED !!!!!!!!!! the guy looked like road kill! I had to give a flying tackle to knock Him off of the guy! I was too late ! Joel had hit the cartilage of his nose into his brain !...........he was dead ........

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E S D