INSTANT KARMA and the MOUNTAIN of the BANDIT KING.....................(not)
After we gathered our wits and courage, and made sure that our bikes were operable .
We decided to head off to the nearest village or town for basic supplies, gas , food
and a shitload of Tequila , ( for medicinal purposes , .... of course.)
We came first to a road side cafe along the road on our way south of CHIHUAHUA ,
basically to by-pass Mexico City south on to the Panama Canal.
The cafe that we came upon was the type that one doesn't see in travel TV shows , it was a true "locals" cafe , eatery type road house.
As we drove up and parked our bikes we noticed that our stomachs were screaming for what smelled to be wonderful local foods emanating from the cafe inside. The place wasn't overly populated so we went to a table and ordered what tasted to us as "food of the GODS".
As we sat at our tables , having finished our repast and enjoying our thick , delicious local coffee, I noticed what looked to be a "scruffy" local kid who the other patrons seemed to be leaving a space clear of him. The kid looked to be our age or there abouts , and seemed to be sad , dejected and skinny!
Joel didn't seem to pay too much attention to the kid but for some reason I couldn't seem to look away......His t-shirt was ripped, his pants had holes , he looked hungrier then a vegetarian at a pig roast , and all he was eating was tortillas de arena , ( Flower tortillas, yummy when FRESH AND HOT !), but I digress. Even though he looked like something the cat drug in and the dog threw out , he still managed to have an air of dignity about himself .
We were in the lot and ready to mount up , when " something" stopped me in my tracks.........
I turned back to the cafe and walked up to his table and asked , " por favor , si se puede o si se quede. ben con migo afueda ? Quedo habalar con tigo." = ( if you can or if you will come outside with me ? i wish to speak with you.) . I think he read in my face a lack of hostility , but friendship there . As we walked to the bikes , I asked him why he seemed so forlorn and dejected? and why so impoverished? At 17 and in those days it didn't seem to be an aggressive query for one kid to ask another when asked in all innocents and compassion.
His answer was that his uncle wanted him to follow in his footsteps and basically take over the business. I didn't push for answers, that would have been transgressing Latin Civility, so he left his Uncle's "HOME", to find his own way Thur life but things were tough for a number of reasons , one being his appearance. namely the disrepair of his clothing.
For a few seconds I stood there looking in his eyes ..........its hard to say what I felt/saw there , but I had made up my mind . Without another word I opened the pack on the back of my bike and proceeded to give him a pair of jeans , 3 pairs of sox , 2 t-shirts , a bar of soap.
We stood there looking at each other and all I could say was, "I don't have much that I can share , but please take what I can and make your way Thur life better armed".
We stood there looking at each other and tears came to our eyes then smiles. He gave a slight nod , I did the same and we turned away from each other and walked , he to what ever future he sought , me to my horse, (bike), and saddled up . Joel looked at me and said, "NU? so ? what are you trying to do , get INSTANT KARMA? " , I looked at him and told him to , "fuck off! " . We then started up our bikes and rode to the South and the "MOUNTAINS".
MOUNTAIN of The BANDIT KING...........................(not)
After having resupplied our packs , we preceded to head South and being "dumb" kids we just sluffed off the warnings of the talk about THE MOUNTAINS (and the supposed reports of the bandit king , hey , remember we were 17? ha ha ha , and God protects Mad Dogs and English Men AND Dumb Teenagers ! that was us!!!! )
As we drove Thur the desert I managed to get perty damned good with my "WHAMO" slingshot, to the point where we never went hungry . That's not to say that we had steak everyday , but Gila monster does taste like chicken if cooked right. and rattle snake tastes alot like chicken to , and prairie hen and big lizards and jackrabbits and turtle........................
hell man , everything tastes alot like chicken in the desert for that matter! ha ha ha ha
At least we didn't have to do any of that reality TV survival crap with bugs and shit like that..........yuck!
A couple of days later we saw what looked like an oasis in the distance at the foot of the mountain range so we decided to head that way and relax for a couple of days .
( INJECT HEAVY DRAMATIC MUSIC HERE! .......................)
We came to this site that looked like 29 PALMS in Calif. with a little stream ambling thur, so we decided to camp for the night , this was about 3 days after the encounter at the cafe and by that time it was all forgotten . As it was, Joel set up camp , I went out to get food.
I bagged 1 snake , 2 Gila's and 1/2 doz. cactus pears , not a bad haul....... ( I REALLY have to put it in here that what I am about to say does have pertinence to a future event! ha ha ha ha ha ha ........... so when we get to the jungles of Southern Mexico trust me!!!!!!!! go pee before you read THAT entry or you will wet yourself laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as I did SEEING it ! :) ).
OK , Joel is now getting a bit pissed at me because I was the food gatherer, and kept rubbing it in ........... R O T F ...
(couldn't help it . a guy thing........... :) L M A O - H M S - R O T F :) )
((READ THE REST OF THE STORY -PAGE 2 )( thanks PAUL HARVEY ))
As we are sitting at the camp fire eating lizards and drinking tequila ( FOCAL POINT ! the sun has set !), up meanders about 9 NASTY looking guys WITH RIFFLES AND PISTOLS AND KNIVES and everything but a fucking NUKE !
Now Enters THE BANDIT KING !!!!!!!!!
HE WAS NOT A HANDSOME GUY !
We were too scared to puke !
He asks us who we are and what we're doing in his turf! (basically). so I said we were travelers going thur his country on our ways to S.A. He then looks at us both and asks , " did you both stop at "La Plata Cantina " "? . " si senor, we did . porque?"
At this point he hesitated and thought ...............
Joel and I are about ready to evacuate our bowels and shoot to the moon!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH A SHITLOAD OF FUEL !!!! (NO PUN ! )
We were SCARED !!!!!
As we sat there contemplating our fate as TOAST ,The JEFFE , (THE BOSS ), just stood there looking at us . I'm thinking , "he's thinking the best way to have fun with us BEFORE or AS we die.............." . Our future seemed perty dismal..........................Joel and I are both saying KADDISH for each other.( a YIDDISH word = PRAYERS for the DEAD.).
For some reason not apparent to us at the time He tells his men to bring more food!
.....................(THE LAST SUPPER? )..................
E S D
