FROM THE BEACHES TO THE JUNGLES
(and getting closer to the GOLD )
Medically speaking.......... ha ha ha ha ha ........WE HAD LOADED DICE !!!!!!!
Keeping that in mind..........that this was he age of SIMPLE afflictions....
As we traveled we had few encounters with scorpions or snakes , other then what we killed for food , or insects.
Our MAJOR encounters with the frailties of humans were those of the HUMAN kind . ha ha ha
TO WIT : CRABS AND GONORRHEA.(sp).
As I said ,Joel HAD to stop at each and every Bordello in EACH and every village , town or city ! ha ha ha ha ha . (remember that FRANKENSTEIN SCHLONG? )R O T F
Editors note : at this point in time the Mexicans were NOT known for their personal hygiene , that's not meaning to say that they were a disgusting people , but Thur lack of education or availability, they just didn't bath . (go figure .), but at times the package was better looking then the contense !
And I was one to eat with my eyes as well !
This which follows may sound or be rather disgusting to you Gentile readers , so you MAY wish to close your eyes at what comes next !
Being as how Joel and I were rather frequent guests to houses of ill repute .......(ha ha ha ha ha ha ......) , we MANAGED to ACQUIRE gifts of ......gifts.
to wit : CRABS BY THE TRUCK LOADS !!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you are 17 , urban legends abound ! and fortunately , some really worked !
It seemed at times like this one of our biggest expenses were new CLEAN underwear, pants and supplies of kerosene in plastic containers ! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA .
Once past the mountain range and south east of Cordoba about 15 or 20 kilometers we came across a small village called ,"Carne Viejos" ! HONEST ! THAT WAS THE NAME !!!!!!!!! oops , it means "old meat " ha ha ha ha ha ha ...........
Can you imagine , in a prophetic sense for the future? (who would have thunk? ).
A village populate by OLD MEN !!!!!!!!!! And the ONLY reason why it had YOUNG WOMEN there was .....was ............ beats the fuck outta me ! ...........
To this day I have NO idea! but that was REALITY at THAT time .. go figure !..........
but the young women were there ! ALOT of YOUNG WOMEN !! To Joel and I it ment?.........
BOOTY CALL !!!!!!!!!!!! :)
At THIS moment inject, "the Mormon tabernacle choir " singing , to the accompaniment of THE NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA...
(with EVERY aspect of DRAMATIC PATHOS!)
(sing this to the BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC )
"Mine eyes have seen the coming of the glory of the BOOTY :
he is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of HOOCH are stored:
he hath loosed the belts of faithfuls, who's pants are a bulging...........
OUR HORMONES MARCH , (march? like hell! we were running like bats outta hell!with grins! ), ON.............
GLORY! , GLORY! for our youngness!
GLORY ! GLORY ! FOR OUR HORMONES!
GLORY! GLORY! FOR our innocents!
OUR ERECTIONS MARCHED US ON..........
tra-la ,tra-la
2 weeks later , and 12 to 18 lbs lighter.............................:)
:)
:)
We NOW had cause to use THE KEROSENE !!!!!!!!
It has to be said here that Kerosene does not feel good when poured on the genitals .........
but boy it sure does kill crabs !!!!!!!!
We had set up a campsite close to a small river and had food caught and cooked before we started to self medicate............... ha ha ha ...
We had an idea that what came next wouldn't be fun , but we had NO idea how NOT fun it would be!!
We stood next to the river , just in case ........... who knew.................
we stripped down , grabbed the bottles of kerosene and poured !!!!!!!!!!!!!!..................
( even though Joel and I had acquired our post pubescent voices, anyone looking at us would have thought that they were seeing 2 mutant little boys who had growth hormones in overdrive and thies 2 giant little boys were jumping around SCREAMING like little girls trying to keep our hands off our genitals while the kerosene did its work !!!!!!!!!)
This went on for 3 days , we DRENCHED our pants , underwear , sox and blankets in kerosene , when
they sun dried we would then RINSE them in the river to try and get the smell out of them .
In the future , it would be a boon to me , a bane to Joel! ha ha ha ha .
We FINALLY got to VERACRUZ !!!!!!!!!!!!
OK , so I'm gonna try to get Thur this as fast as I can , I'm sure your bored with the hormonal adventures? ha ha ha ha
ESD
