Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A Life In The Day (38)

THE CANAL /CORRUPTION /WHORE HOUSES /GAMBLING?
(oh my )
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We had reached a small village named Sesesmolitos about 3 miles from the Honduran boarder and spent the night more or less to be around living people and gather any news , if any, about the village we left in ruins.
Surreptitiously we ask guys our age if they ,or anyone had heard ANY news about ANY village north west of us about ANYTHING?
There were rumors , but even the ,"ballsy ", guys we talked with ,were too frightened to share.
We didn't push ..............
We didn't encounter any problems crossing the boarders , still ignorant about what happened from others, as we went into Honduras .For some reason We headed to the town of Comoyagua,
not for any particular reason .........
Joel just wasn't the same after our encounter with hells killing field. He didn't smile much any more , but every time We came to any village , town or city , He would , after We found a room to bunk in , would head off to the nearest Cantina and eat a little chow and drink a lot of Tequila , then head off to the nearest Bordello to go fuck His brains out ..........
I was told some times by some of the girls , in the morning when I would come by to pick Him up , that after His sexual bouts with the girls , and would fall into a stupors sleep , that He would cry and scream , "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in His sleep , and it freaked them out !!! but He was NEVER violent ! or so they said .
Crossing the boarders into Guatamala , then into Honduras where the most frightening times of our passage simply because that would be the times that We had to come in Direct contact with Government Boarder Soldiers. Most of the time We drove Thur the country We kept as low a profile as possible. Another aspect in our favor was that We didn't dress or sound like the standard tourists that We saw in all the cities, but more like locals , and the fact that Joel and I spoke Spanish .
Our funds were getting a little low , but it never seemed to be an issue to us . when We were in the plains of Nicaragua , taking our time traveling , Joel started manifesting an aggressiveness in His hunting abilities that I never knew existed .
Now it seemed that He was the food gatherer . On full moon nights We'd go out for Javolinas , We had acquired a taste for the little pig meat. All this time I thought I was GREAT with my WHAMO Slingshot , but I soon found out otherwise. I'd hang back and watch as He stalked the prey. He didn't have the clumsiness that we BOTH started out with when We began Our adventure .
In the beginning He would stand with His arm pointing and looking like a "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE " skit , just waiting for the punch line where "CHEVY CHASE' falls backward with the stone still circling over His head .................but that never came close to manifestation ......He would just stand up for 3 or 4 swings of the stone over His head and then release the missile only to kill our food with a clean shot to the head with all the detachment of one who feels no discomfort in a slaughter house!
We came to the city of Matagalpas in Nicaragua , with a fair population and a small casino. I never even thought that Joel knew anything about gambling.
We were down to about $75.00 , and even then that was a good amount of money for 2 guys in Central America in the 60's, and I really didn't have a problem when Joel wanted to go to the casino and see what He could do . Hell , I was interested also . hahahaha .
(remember that Gawd protected Mad Dawgs , Englishmen and dumb teenagers.................).
( I didn't say that Joel and I both had reams of different types of paper for different mental reasons, which in the future would save both our lives!.)
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Sorry for the temporal dysfunction . was off the NET for 3 weeks . Back on now.
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We came to what I think of as a small Casino by today's standards,(real small).
Joel just seemed like a kid obsessed and walked to a small roulette table , turned to me and ask for money!I gave Him $50. , (what the fuck!). He played BLACK !!!!!!and that was only what He would ONLY play ! (later I asked Him "why ONLY Black?", it wasn't so much cryptic as just over my head. He said "black equals death , red equals pain and suffering...........I'd rather Die then see THAT pain again ! " ).We won $500. on that roll ! Joel was not obsessive . He was sated . We took our money and left! Then I witnessed Joel kill!!!!!!
I was pleasantly fried and Joel should have been with the amount of Tequila He drank.But as I said , He didn't smile much thies days . As we walked to our hotel just talking about banal shit , we came around a corner Thur a short cut in a dark alley when we were confronted by 3 toughs!
with more balls then brains.They told us to give them our money! It took a second for us to react .
(I have to say here that you MUST remember ! that at the beginning of Our Exodus, We were 2 fat , dorky , Jewish kids with no apparent abilities in survival!!!!!!!BUT we read alot! and reading enhances! ).
I kicked out with my left foot to the neck of the guy on my left , his head bounced off the wall behind him , as it came back, I grabbed his hair and came up with my knee to his forehead ! a lot of blood came out !
, as it went up I punched him under his sternum to cause him to lose his breath ! I grabbed his ears and beat his head on the cobble stone as 1 ear came off in my hand! I was pumped up with the Adrenalin of fear ! I looked over to Joel , (all this was in the time span of SECONDS !), JOEL HAD HIT OUT WITH HIS RIGHT FIST IN THE GUYS FOREHEAD ON HIS LEFT! IT BOUNCED OFF THE WALL BEHIND HIM , HE FELL.........he was out for the count !......THE OTHER GOT THE BACK SWING OF HIS FIST TO HIS NOSE AND FELL ON HIS BACK , JOEL straddled him like a girl in heat! and PUNCHED , ! and PUNCHED , and PUNCHED !!!!!!!!!! the guy looked like road kill! I had to give a flying tackle to knock Him off of the guy! I was too late ! Joel had hit the cartilage of his nose into his brain !...........he was dead ........
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E S D

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A Life In The Day (37)

NIGHTMARES and TEARS
TEARS and NIGHTMARES
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The night desert lands scape was lite by a full silver moon, and seeing where I was walking wasn't an issue. I knew I had to sit down and stop walking though , mainly because I couldn't see the ground for all the tears flooding my eyes. I was perty high by now on the Peyote and reefer mix and was beginning to hallucinate.
I sat in ZAZEN Posture to meditate and tried to erase my mind of what happened mere hours ago , or at least deal with it in a cosmic sense. (2 years previously , I had written to "Carlos Castienato" from "Carlos Castienatos and the teachings of Don Juan" fame,We had a fair amount of correspondence at the time,and remember even then asking Him WHAT THE MEANING OF LIFE was .........) I was trying to make sense of what we had witnessed
I can't say that I meditated but more floated around the desert in a drugged state of , dreaming.
The dreams that came to me that night were ones that to this day I DON'T UNDERSTAND.....
( I saw Doves , many Doves , all standing around ONE lone Dove on the ground ,lying on Its side , It lay there broken , bleeding, weeping , looking up at me pleading.........with HUMAN EYES .........
--Imagine an episode of "THE TWILIGHT ZONE "--
I ran to it with ALL the force of my Being , ALL THE FORCE OF MY BEING , the harder I ran , the more immersed I became in Tar, As I attempted to reach out , I found myself ENGULFED in a drop of AMBER, LIKE THAT MOSQUITO IN "Jurassic Park"-----I COULD NOT MOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!------------THE TRUCKS BORE DOWN ON US ............)
I awoke to the sun SCREAMING in my eyes!!
I woke up with a dry mouth an my mind whirling even now . I walked over to a barrel cactus and cut a piece out to have a drink of Mother Earths Water and started to search my way back to camp only to find Joel curled in a fetal position.
I stood there for a moment and looked at Him and envied the fuck out of Him , lying there with
what appeared to be the sleep of the innocent ! Time proved Me wrong , years in the future I was notified by mutual acquaintances in Paris, that He committed suicide caused by "unknown" nightmares..............
E S D