Sunday, April 29, 2007

A Life in the Day (7)

.............................AND THEN GOD CAME HOME!!!
(inject Boris Karloff style melodramatic , Elvira-esk ,Saturday night horror movie music!) great mental picture , huh? Anyway, as He walked into my room , there I was sitting in the corner with Nunie ( don't laugh at her name! ),in my lap and her mussel on my chest looking at me with those O M G cockerspaniel eyes, (TOTALLY understanding what I was going thru.). I thought for sure that I was about to become WORMSFOOD! He walked to my bed, sat and ASKED (?) me to come stand before Him and recount the tale of the day and how I came to look this way.
As I was telling Him , I could SWEAR that I saw His eyes grow red with an internal heat! smoke coming from His ears, foam from His lips, FANGS sprout from His mouth! ( HEY ! I WAS 9!).
He asked me if all that was the truth? with my chin on my chest, I replied yes........(parents have an uncanny way of discerning truth from fiction or outright lies! He sat for a moment or two thinking. In my kids mind I was thinking "ok , get ready for your spanking......... ( my Father and mother were from the old world and it was traditional punishment for transgressors of my ilk!) .
But NO! I was told to go to the car and wait till He came out , apparently He had to talk to mother first. As I walked to the car , going thru my kids mind again was the scenario of Him driving me to an empty lot , having me dig my own grave, standing next to the edge , then being shot in the back of the head with my sling shot , falling in to the end of the bottomless pit , and being buried with a marker of a stick with an up turned empty Campbell's soup can so that as kids came by to play "kick the can" with my marker , they would stub their toes and curse the person who did this , being me , and the curses would dribble down thru the hard packed earth to the worms meat of my ears and I would hear them for all eternity! But I was wrong AGAIN! We DROVE TO THE CONVENT!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was told to attend Him to the house , whereupon He knocked on the door with firm assertiveness . A lay lady (?) nun in training (?) what ever, answered and asked what we wanted? at which point Father answered that He wished to see the mother Superior "Now! Please!".
The poor lady was taken aback by His assertiveness but retorted that she and the other nuns were in Vespers. Whereupon my FATHER said,"NOW! Please!". The poor drudge turned on her heels and scurried off like a mouse running from a Big HUNGRY Cat returning with the head PENGUIN in tow.
She asked in a haughty voice,"how may I help you? " Father answered," I wish to see your sister Mary Loua and have you in attendance.NOW! Please!"
To my astonishment the head Penguin ACTUALLY told the lay lady to go and fetch the "KILLER WHALE", which she did! When the BLOB came into the room , my Father got in her face and asked , in a frighteningly calm voice, "Did you do this to my child? (I MUST interject THIS, I had NEVER seen the metamorphosis of a KILLER WHALE into a GUPPY before ! ).
She nodded in the affirmative . whereupon my Father got MORE into her face and said,"How dare you for chastising my son for voicing his thoughts and opinions on theology when asked for an honest answer! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? ". She swallowed and in doing so rippled like when you throw a stone into a pond. My Father took that as a yes.
As we turned to leave , I had a vision! I saw a bright golden glow surround my Father like an aura , He ceased to be ONLY 6'6" and grew to the size and magnitude of Mt. Rushmore! WOW,(and He was my Father!) :)


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