Saturday, August 18, 2007
A Life In The Day (26)
.................THE LAST SUPPER ?.................
I really don't know how to continue with this part of the narrative because it gets kinda involved........
Here He tells some of his men to bring more food , ( what ? , they were expecting us? ) and 3 more guys emerge from the boundary of the campfire light and cart in 6 rabbits , and as quick as one can "moan"
O M G !
Theis guys GUT theis RABBITS WITH SPEED AND EFFICIENCY!!!!!!!!!! and build up our fire and start cooking them !
The whole time Joel and I are thinking , "We should stand up , bend over , put our heads between our legs , and kiss our asses GOODBYE! ". As the rabbits start cooking , He asks , "tiene bebe? " , ( have anything to drink? ).
Smart ass me , trying to look cool , nod and reach over and give Him the bottle of Tequila, (( MY HAND WAS SHAKING SO MUCH THAT IF IT WERE CARBONATED IT WOULD HAVE GOUTED A FOUNTAIN OF FOAM! think a "Mello" candy dropped into a liter of COKE !) ( I can't swear to this but I think I saw a quicksilver smile cross His face as I handed Him the shaking bottle.))
Ya know ,now after 4 decades , looking back on the events of that night? I REALLY think that that ugly son of a bitch was having FUN with us as he played His mind games on us !
He kept talking to his men in a rapid dialect of Spanish that neither Joel or I could understand.
Every now and then his men would laugh and look over at us , (the whole time I'm thinking that scene from "DELIVERANCE " , " LETS' HEAR YA SQUEAL , BOYS ! SQUEAL LIKE A CUPPLA PIGS NAWH !").
EDITORS NOTE :
IN THE ARMY THIS IS WHAT'S CALLED A "PUCKER FACTOR #1 " which equates to your SPHINCTER mussel getting SO TIGHT due to fear of ANY given situation that a molecule of HELIUM couldn't get Thur !
As the rabbits finished cooking , He started passing OUR bottle of Tequila to his men and now I'm thinking , (" why haven't they searched our packs yet ? and if He does he'll find the rest of our Tequila to ! The least He could do is allow us to get shitfaced if we're gonna be SODOMISED and KILLED !"
( INJECT HERE A "BONN MOTE" OF PHILOSOPHIC CONTEMPLATION )
- GAWD HAS A PERVERTED SENSE OF HUMOR ! -
Here his men do a MIRACULOUS TRANS CONFIGURATION OF CHANGING SAND INTO at least 6 or 8 bottles of home distilled Tequila of their own ! OUT OF NOWHERE!!!! GO FIGURE !!!!!!
Here He asks us if we'd like to join Him and his men in His rabbits ? Joel and I both declined , saying that we both ate already and would be more then happy to show him all that we ate on the desert sand ! (We were both THAT scared!!!!!!!!!!!!! remember " PUCKER FACTOR #1 ? "
That statement seemed to break the ice , because after He translated it to his men , they ALL started to laugh so hard that they appeared to cry with mirth as they rolled on the ground .
ZAPATA now tells his men to give us a bottle of Tequila , (Oh , rite . I forgot to mention that we found out that He chose to call Himself , ZAPATA , as in "THE LIBERATOR OF MEXICO"?.....................rite...................well after all He did steal from the rich.................
actually He stole from everyone , if the truth be known ! .............. and He did share a BIT of His gains with his men............................and He WAS big , ugly , mean looking , smelly , dumber then a bag of hammers and probably had a brain pan the size of a chick pea and as it seemed , only a bit smarter then his gaggle of inbred ,mentally challenged bandalleros . but as it turned out , He had a heart the size of MONTANA ! (WHICH WE WERE ABOUT TO FIND OUT LATER THAT NIGHT !)
E S D