Saturday, May 3, 2008

A Life In The Day (42)

the JUNGLE and the BITCHES (part 3)
(am I still alive?)
The rest of this narrative is going to be a bit confused, owing to the fact that not knowing what I was about to get into, and still thinking that I knew it all, (remember that I'm 17 and STUPID!), I had a piece of that psychedelic fruit cut into the sizes of dice cubes, and carried them in my pocket.
I ate one piece about a mile before I got to the clearing, LUCKY ME!

By the time I got to within 100 yards of the Pack, I was crawling on all 4's, and that alone saved my life , as it is.

As I approached the pack on my hands and knees, the juvenile males ,(dogs), were the first to approach me at a run and surround me, the bulk of the pack,(the bitches),came next. All in all, I would have said there were no more then 40 animals in total, excluding the "pups".

I remembered things that I had read in school about animals in general, dogs specifically about never, 1) to not look aggressive to a strange dog, never look at it directly in the eyes. 2) never show your teeth, as in a smile. 3) that to show submissiveness , lie on your back and bear your neck.(the last part coming from "Jack London's "Call of the Wild"". Does any of this sound juuussst A little bit crazy?(you bet my ass it did!!!!!!!), but at 17 and you're Superman and there ain't no Kyrtonite, what the fuck!

The Dogs AND the Bitches were ALL slavering, fangs bared! The BEST thing that happened to me was, because I was SO tired and with REALLY hurting knees and stoned, was for me to collapse! To the pack? I didn't look like a boar, or a panther or much of anything they might have encountered. I didn't seem to present any threat to them as they knew it, thanks to the mud covering, I did not smell of disease, I did not manifest a threat, they smelled on fear, just a curiosity. I DON'T MEAN TO BE ANTHROPOMORPHIC of them in ANY way, but it was as if they had no idea what I was, and was a conundrum to them?

I slowly turned over on my back and put my head back.(I have to say here that the average size of the pack was about the size of big Cocker Spaniels and the GRAND DAME was the size of a German Shepard.), as I looked at Her coming to me I had one thought in mind, DISNEY LAND! (none of this was real to me!). The next part is REALLY strange! The queen bitch came cautiously over to me and began to "sniff" me all over from crotch, butt, arm pits and my hair.Now here comes the really weird part! When it seemed that She had satisfied Herself, in Her own way, She then proceeded to STRADDLE me and take a "piss" on me! The whole time all this was happening , the pack was barking, growling and basically going ape shit!

I had read about dogs manifesting territorial rites with their urine, BUT PLEASE!!!! ON ME? ha ha ha ha . Apparently I was.... ok?....Hers?....ha ha ha, (GO FIGURE!)

At that point, the pack seemed to calm down, I still lay there wondering .........what the fuck?......... Eventually, I turned over again and crawled to the base of the nearest tree and watched the workings of the "pack"! I was basically left unharmed, but with a "guard" of at least 1/2 dozen "juvenile dogs!"but after awhile it seemed that I was accepted , mainly due to the fact that I had the "QUEEN BITCHES"scent on me! (I was Hers'?, again, go figure!)

lucky for me , I don't live to eat!, and there were plenty of fruits to gather and berries to eat. It seemed as long as I did NOT stand up on 2 feet, I would NOT cause the pack to freak out!

In the first 2 days I came to see how the pack existed. It appeared that this was a "FEMALE " pack of dogs. When a MALE juvenile attained his sexual majority,(puberty), it was cast out of the pack with real anger!, and threats of death! There was 1 male who seemed to challenge the rule. Apparently it wanted to become the "ALPHA DOG!". He fought with tenacity,valor... He was ripped apart! the pack of bitches!

When ever I had to pass water , I would crawl over to some rocks that were on the outskirts of the clearing, and while still on all 4's would just "pee". The whole time it seemed that I had acquired an admirer! HA HA HA HA . A Gorgeous, Golden, Young, Beauty of curiosity, mirth and humor(?) a VERY Sweet Bitch. ha ha ha . fuck today's ridiculous world of PC bullshit!

I couldn't go anywhere without GOLDIE, (that's what I named Her.), following me! ha ha ha ha ha . After many attempts at being able to touch Her, She finally succumbed to my charms and would allow me to pet Her. I did not know what I had done!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA . She was all over me like a cheap suit!!!!! When I would go to sleep? She would be lying on me or close to my stomach.When I went to a pool of water to "refresh" my mud, She would be on the bank looking at me like, the" R C A pup", looking into the speaker with Her head canted and saying .........."YOUR SILLY!"

By the 3'rd day Goldie and I were inseparable! Now do you remember that I had said that I only came into this world of Bitches with cut-offs and a straw hat? Well, that hat was almost my undoing! As it turned out, Goldie and I were playing and a strong wind came up! It blew my hat off. Goldie scrambled after it and grabbed it in Her mouth and started to swing it around like a rag doll! NOOOOOOOOO!!!! THATS MY HAT!!!!!!!!! I got up and started to run after Her to get my hat back! It was ratty , torn up, beat to shit!!!!!!!! WRONG THING TO DO !!!!!!!!!!!! instantly the pack turned on me and ran with the thought that either I was a threat? or "snausages, snack food!", I immediately fell on my back and bared my neck! In an instant, Goldie was at my side, hell! She was on my chest! growling and barking with death in Her eyes! but not aimed at me! She was apparently staving off the others! For what seemed a life time , She PROTECTED ME!!!!!!!!!!! literally telling them to BACK OFF!

In retrospect, She, GOLDIE, saved my life!

As the pack finally, reluctantly, left me. Goldie pee-ed on me also!!!!!!!! in my mind is going, (am I Hers now?), B F D ! THANK YOU GOLDIE! I then turned on my belly and crawled to the tree that I had made mine, with Goldie at my rear.(NO PUN!).

Day 4 was FUN FOR BOTH OF US! I had come to a fruit tree with a fruit that looked like a cross between a plumb and a peach. I picked one up and started to eat it, whereupon Goldie stared at me as I ate. She saw me eat it and with the look of intelligence, wondered what the fuck was I doing?! I smiled with no teeth, just a smile.

She sniffed my face, then my fingers, then looked at me.(again with Her head cocked!). I cut 2 pieces of the fruit and held them in my hand. I took 1 piece and slowly and deliberately put it into my mouth, then held out my hand to Her with the other! After sniffing and looking at me, She leaned over to take the piece of fruit in Her mouth!!!!!!!!!! O M G !!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha .

have you EVER seen a dog Smile???????

It is a cross between Constipation, Gas, OR JUST AN ANIMAL GRIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! GOLDIE LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We lay there for a long time on the jungle floor just eating fruit ! Goldie's tail was wagging faster then a metronome on "speed" ! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A DOG "FART"? HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!! OR BURP?!!!!!!!!!!!!HA HA HA HA .....we were both having fun!! I matched Her BLAST for BLAST!!!! As I crawled back to the clearing with Goldie at my side and went to "our "tree", I had thoughts of depression.......

That night as we slept, with Goldie "spooning " to me at my belly, I started crying....and tears were for the fact that on the marrow I knew I would have to leave.....smiles? for the fact that Goldie would "fart" every now and then...ha ha ha ha ha......

On day 5 , at dawn, I went to the stream and drank with Goldie by my side...........I crawled to a fruit tree and shared my repast with Goldie, then crawled in the direction of my "bike", again with Goldie at my side............I went to as far as I was when I first heard "the pack", and went a little further on all 4's . At about 200 yards from "the clearing" I stood up! Goldie shrank to her belly, tail put under Her! I said at that time in a gental voice,

"go back",

and walked on. After , I don't know many yards, I looked back and saw Goldie! I then said in a louder voice,

"go back!"

and the time I was at my "bike", I was crying...........then I heard a "yip", I looked back to see Goldie there on the ground with THAT look! I was devastated! I reached down and picked up some dirt and threw it at Her! screaming,


I knew that SHE would not fare well in my world!!! SHE ran only a short distance and turned to me. By this time I can't see well for all my tears...........I cleared my bike of all the "CAMO" ,then got my sandals. put them on , primed the "carbs" and kicked the starter! At the sound of it kicking over, GOLDIE ran!!!!!!!!!!!!



No comments: