A life In The Day (36)

NIGHTMARES and TEARS

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TEARS and NIGHTMARES

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( and still on our way to the River of Gold)

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We drove for at least 100 miles , before exhaustion, adrenaline depletion, hunger, thirst, less light over dangerous terrain and sore butts made us stop for the night.

We arrived to the vicinity of the then Provence, QUICHE , by driving around the base of the mountains, near the town of Zacapa in Guatemala, just west of the Honduran boarder.

By this time on our bikes , we had come to see camp sites with ease and rapidity .

It wasn't hard for us to find a a hidden site among the boulders for the night.

We hadn't talked since we left the village and started ridding...........and we didn't talk much now........

We mechanically went about setting up camp...............................

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The moon covered half the sky that night,

It was an erie stillness,

Joel just leaned against the big rock and looked at the desert in front of Him and was looking at nothing ........nothing but the same blood I was seeing in visual overlays...

I reached over into my pack and grabbed some Javolina Jerky and cut a piece off for Him with my "boy scout" knife and as I turned to toss it over to Him saw that He had a bottle of Tequila at His lips , the whole time I saw silent tears running down His dirt smeared face ........

I just looked at Him an saw My agony reflected there and could say nothing..........

He couldn't say anything ..........I wouldn't say anything.........

He was drinking His oblivion ..............I chose to smoke into mine..............

I left Him there and got up to go walk into the desert and smoke My brains away..........

I lite a joint , took a hit ,looked at Joel silently crying , drinking His tequila and staring at nothing in the silver moon lite desert where I was about to go walking...........

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I just started walking and walking ..............

It might seem to the casual reader that this part of the journal would be easy to relate.........you have NO idea what this is costing me NOW..............!

I have no idea how long or where I walked , I didn't care .

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