A Life In The Day (23)

THE LONGEST TRIP BEGINS WITH THE FIRST STEP

OK,

So now you are about to be told some VERY strange things that we encountered on our road trip south thru Mexico to South America and the discovery of "OUR" "RIO DEL ORO" which in a short time (relatively speaking) , financed OUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!! . Whether or not you chose to believe them is up to you , but we LIVED thur them ! As RIPLEY once said ," BELIEVE IT OR NOT!", so fuck you, :) , There were times that if I gave a shit I would have checked out the facts with NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC for validation , but hey! to us it was REAL! and we survived it all ! And some of it was pretty damned funny!!!!!!!!! :) , and other encounters were REALLY SCARY ! AS YOU WILL SEE! (insert the LONDON PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA , kettle drums , oboes and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the back round.)

Our first travail was to get thru the boarder crossing at TIJUANA , Mexico .

TIJUANA connotes , (more Philharmonic Orchestra here and a shitload of kettle drums! , please?)

" THE BLUE FOX BAR"

remember folks and guys of this era , ITS THE MID 60's ha ha ha ha ha ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,{remember , "Peace , Love , Dove? Turn on , Tune in , and Drop out? YEAH BABY! :)- } ,

THE BLUE FOX,......................

ah the memories...................................

Joel and I did what any HEALTHY young American kid of 17 with RAGGING HORMONES would do upon entering any boarder town , (where it was legal for U.S. kids to drink !) , We went to the HOTTEST bar in this NASTY boarder town ! ha ha ha ha ha ha ...........We went to ........................................................................

THE BLUE FOX !!!!!

(insert GIGANTIC GRINS!!!!!!! :) and hard-ons the size of the Washington Monument with the strength of blue twisted steel ! ), HEY ! WE WERE 17 !! OK ? ..... :)

Now here goes a query to those of us GUYS who grew up in the 60's .

Did any of you ever hear or see the XXX video of the lady on a stage with Talcum powder and Hard Boiled eggs and REALLY STRONG THIGH mussels? ?

We were there before it was taped! LOL , R O T F - H M S - L M A O

(REMEMBER , that early in this narrative I had said that I would not hold back descriptions or vernacular of any event, so if you are of a Victorian bent or of Protestant ennui? Buzz off!

This is MY life ! and besides , WHO'S' GONNA READ THIS MISSIVE? R O T F - H M S -

L M A O ! All I know is that this encyclical is rather purging for me , and that feels good !

Has anyone of you out there ever seen both a woman and a Donkey on a stage at the same time? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ................................

This is why "THE BLUE FOX " , was shut down in 68' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

L M A O - H M S !

WOLFMAN JACK used to broadcast from Tijuana from a 100,000 Watt transmitter there which was prohibited and restricted in the U.S. ( P.S. I had the pleasure of meeting WOLFMAN in San Luis Obispo , California, where I had my business before my wife died, and just before he died............... I have no idea why I said that.................

if I thought there was anyone out there reading this missive I would blush , as it is I'm just a little weepy at the encounters of my /some bitter sweet memories.................. forgive me, self...........

.........................................................................................................................................................

ALRITY NOW . LETS STOP BEING MAUDLIN!

..........................................................................................................................................................

OK , so Joel and I stayed in T J for about 2 weeks , and being both enterprising young American JEWS , ( Did I mention that Joel was also a put down JEWISH kid like myself? lol ), we actually made more money for our future adventures by selling REEFER in TJ to American kids on day trips ? ! lol lol (RITE , THAT'S LIKE SAYING ONE CAN SELL SIN to GOD!) , lol . , BUT WE DID !

We bought low and sold HIGH ! lol (Did I mention that I spoke only 5 languages at the time , and Joel spoke 3? ).

So we bought from the Mexicans who we spoke to and sold to the American guys who trusted us because we spoke English. Do the math ! lol

Joel loses his cherry in TJ !!

It's a little hard to go into this without giving a little background into Joel's' past.

From what he shared with me , he came from an overbearing mother and father , which in itself for a male in a Jewish family is kinda hard to accept, but there you have it . The basic reason why Joel ranaway.

To add insult to injury they made him question his masculinity because of his perchant to the ARTS. His parents wanted him to be ONLY a Lawyer or Medical Doctor. I never understood that aspect of his parents will? Granted that his parents came from Russia during WW2 as immigrants seeking political and religious asylum., but why would they have insisted on any other field other then the ARTS?

I respected Joel's trepidation on speaking about it and never pushed for answers.

Be that as it may , one night after having seen the show at the "BLUE FOX" , and being perty shitfaced , as we staggered back to our hotel room , Joel ask ME if I was still a virgin ? I felt the embarrassment in his voice and attempted to gauge my response to his feelings and moods .

The look of pain and anguish in his eyes was heart rendering , and with all the compassion and understanding camaraderie of a FRIEND, I replied,

"YOUR STILL A VIRGIN? L M A O - H M S - R O T F " I was laughing so hard with tears in my eyes that as I leaned on a post that wasn't there , I fell to the ground Holding My Sides. Joel seeing the ridiculousness of the question in my posture , started laughing as hard as I was and started kicking me in the ass ! (remember we were both shitfaced!). After what seemed an eternity (but not long enough!) , we stopped laughing , wiped our eyes , looked at each other and started cracking up again!

So I did what any good buddy would do in a situation like this.....

I took him to , "ROSA'S' CANTINA" , (YEAH , YOU HEARD IT RIGHT, Rosa's Cantina ! )

One of the last things I did , and I thought with HONEST compassion , I asked him if he REALLY wanted to lose his virginity at a whore house in some ratty boarder town like , TIA JUANNA?

His reply was from the heart and very sincere,

"HELL YEAH!"

E S D

A Life In The Day (22)

"ON THE ROAD AGAIN."

So after we had breakfast, (I went out and shot a GILA MONSTER with my WHAM-O slingshot, it impressed the hell out of Joel as well as myself! I only used 1 Bering! lol , and it was a head shot! It tasted good! AND IT TASTED LIKE CHICKEN! ) . We then saddled up and rode............. this was the FIRST TIME EVER IN MY LIFE THAT I DID NOT HAVE A SINGLE WORRY !!!!!!! bar none!!!!!!!!!......................

.............................................

Its' difficult to say what was going thur both our minds at that time , but you can bet it wasn't about body bags or NAM.

As we drove on , I dare say that Joel was thinking about his future in the art world and how he'd get there . (You see his dream was to go to ART School in Paris and become an artist of worth . But he was put down by his family and peers for dreaming of a "useless career".),and besides , how would he get there now?

I on the other hand wasn't really thinking of anything other then "how can I write of my experiences like "PAPA HEMMING WAY" one of my Hero's! (I knew that I couldn't hold a "match stick " to the one of the Last GREAT POETS OF THE CLASSICAL ERA -OVID, so I picked my next Hero. that's why I had brought a ream of paper with me in my backpack . I'd read ALL His books and figured "if He can do it , then why oh why can't I ?"

Guess what? ALL OUR DREAMS CAME TRUE !!!!!!!

How THAT happened , you will find out a few months down the road.

.....................................

ESD

A Life in the Day (21)

THE ENCOUNTER................

Great segway , what? lol lol .

OK, so there I was after the pee and freezing my tits off , shaking with cold from being on THE ROAD, and as I tried to lay out my quilt to get some sleep, along comes this "guy" who sees me shaking and flapping my arms to get some circulation going , and offers me the warmth of his heater in his car . Little did I know what his "true" intentions were!

Granted that I had survived P. A. , but that was in a cloistered world of a military academy. I didn't think that "Dreck" like that could seep into the outside "real world".

OK , so the guy asks me to have a seat IN HIS CAR as he turns on the heater,what a dummy I was! Now understand that I have NO idea what's on his mind , YET !

OK , now I'm starting to see the light as he say," Have you ever seen pictures like theis?" , I take one look and say,"see ya!" , and get my skinny Jewish ass out of the car as quick as I can and run for my bedroll and bike even FASTER! In the 60's there was a saying..........."color me GONE!". I was !

I managed to jump on my "horse" and ride as fast as she could for about 2 hours until the cold got to me again and I HAD to stop from lack of sleep and the cold that was eating into me ! , so it happened that I saw a roadside pull-over site (you know , those that look like a concrete picnic table with a hood?).

I was too tired to resist, so I looked and saw cacti behind the area and drove into them to find Suaro Catie and COVER................

The morning came bright , sunny and hot . As I woke up to make coffee on a back-pack Sterno grill , I heard the cursing of a kindred spirit over by the concrete picnic table.

Now enters Joel Lake , who turns out to become my buddy ,fellow explorer and traveling companion in America , South America and England. He to was a runaway and the same age as me , 17, AND with a lame "horse!"(Kawasaki 250 CC. motorcycle with bad plugs),and a runaway as well ! (go figure! )

( Sorry for the delay in notes, but I just got a third job , and working 106 hours per week kinda puts the skids to time at the type writer ! The DREAM that I am working for is THAT important! More on THAT later!!!!!!!!! ).

OK , So I walk over slowly and check him out at a distance , and figure its OK , so I say, "Hi, sup? ".

Scared the shit outta him! ha ha ha ha ......He thought He was alone , like I did me.

So I ask him to go to my camp and get coffee for the both of us and I'd check out his bike.

He returns and I'd already checked and replaced the "plugs", (did I say that I was a good "JEWISH " BOYSCOUT?) that I saw were fouled.

As we sat there talking and getting the measure of each other , it comes to pass that we both thought the other guy is cool if not a little "odd", ha ha ha ...

Above all things , it came to pass that we seemed to agree on ALL things such as ,1) mortality , 2)education , 3)politics , 4)authority , 5)drugs , 6)girls and 7)sex................ :)

answers? ...read the book! ha ha ha .

1) too short. 2) NOT ENOUGH! 3) BITE ME ! 4) ALWAYS CHALLENGE AUTHORITY! (thanks ABBY HOFFMAN! :) ) 5) REEFER RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;) 6 & 7) YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

After a bit more of small talk , I asked him where he was going. His reply was , "beats the fuck outta me." , whereupon I said, " lets flip a stick! ", So I reached over and picked up a twig, made one end different from the other and threw it up in the air!!!!!!!!!!! (picture 2001- the movie, where the ape throws up the thigh bone of a vanquished food source! ) ........................

DON'T YOU GET IT YET?

AT THAT MOMENT , WE JUST BOTH CREATED OUR DESTINES!!!

ESD

A Life in the Day (20)

....................THE ROAD....................

GOOD MORNING STAR SHINE , THE EARTH SAYS HELLO............YOU TWINKLE OUT FURTHER .........WE TWINKLE BELOW.........(tra la -tra la...... ).....GOOD MORNING STAR SHINE ,YOU LEAD US ALONG..............AS WE SING OUR EARLY MORNING SINGING SONG............................SCHOOBIE DO DOWA , SHOOBIE DO DOWA , lala , ho.h....................

I'm singing this at probably 1am ,(remember , it circa. 1964, going 60 MPH, south on highway 101 on my way to Mexico and scared shitless! (WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING ? ).......I really have NO idea! All that keeps going Thur my mind are pictures of "body bags", on C B S , N B C , A B C , AND INVITATIONS TO ATTEND THE FUNERALS OF MY DEAD CLASSMATES! ........................

Here I'm 17 years old with the only ability to survive resting in the upbringing of my Father and His desire that I read ALL subjects in as MANY varied genre !

Well let's get along with the rest of the story..................

OK , It's about 3 am and I'm cold , REALLY COLD!, and I gotta pee ! (that's' funny now, then I had a bladder the size of Montana ! and when I pee-d , it was with the force of "old faithful" , now I have a bladder the size of a golf ball and when I pee , I'm lucky if I can put out a match with a dribble! ha ha ha ha! ..........) I know! too much information! lol

Well I picked one of those rest stops on the highway even there then. so I pulled over to , 1)PEE and 2) TO GET SOME SHUTEYE. Little did I know that I was about to get one of my first LIFE LESSONS on this road of LIFE! (ergo , the title- A Life in the Day)...............

OK , so after my pit stop I encounter a........

ESD

A Life in the Day (19)

THE ROAD...........

Its' taken me 4 days to deal , mentate, sift, Judge, with what's about to be forth coming.....

4 days my ass! It's not easy to bear ones soul !

You , (the world) , has no idea what is about to happen now!

At this point I am about to let you chose the path of your desire or proclivity in standards.

HERE IS WHERE YOU MAKE YOUR CHOICES !

TO BELIEVE ? OR NOT TO BELIEVE !

:)

ESD

A Life in the Day (18)

HIGH SCHOOL HIGH-JINKS?

or just

HELL ON WHEELS ?

read the book...

Now this part tells of MANY TYPICAL occurrences in the life of a teenager.

Like loosing ones virginity with a girl named, "Stinky box wholfiler"(THATS THE TRUTH! lol ), and here I had a cast on my right foot from a break in SCRIMMAGE! in JV football PRACTICE of all things,and as I was "mounting"her,I swung my "casted" foot up and over only to come crashing down to BREAK HER TOE! lol lol (romantic ,yes?), and having the condom break at our climax! and here I had walked 1 mile to a local "ZODY'S" store (back then like a TARGET store today) ON CRUTCHES!!!!!!!!just to be safe for my FIRST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER! lol lol .......

Feeding BBQ RAT meat to my science teachers, and be complimented on it taste! (they didn't know what they ate! I had told them "rabbits", from our Lab Specimens, only my favorite Biology teacher "MR. KLIKINECK", knew! and He didn't tell them! He thought it was too funny! He knew rite off from the bone structures!

---Getting forced into sex with a septuagenarian.---

Almost getting caught having sex with a neighbors wife, and meanwhile standing in the shower stall as he took a piss with his back to me after coming home drunk only to stagger off to bed and pass out before I could escape! (think "The Pink Panther"), with Robert Wagner in the shower stall as Inspector Clouseau putzed around in the bathroom.(lol) ( remember I'm 14 yrs. old now and now I'm big.(growth hormones kicked into OVERDRIVE. so did my SEX DRIVE!)) .

Having sex on, and falling off of a Honda 250cc.scrambler motorcycle down a 50' gully in the mountains as a car came around the turn.

Making out in the back seat of my 56' push-button drive Plymouth as my date and I were at a drive-in playing "Birdman of Alcatraz"and have her Dentures pop-out!

Or running away from home for the first time.

As a runaway from Home for the first time , hearing AND seeing, "The RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS" and their NEW RELEASE, "LITTLE LATIN LOUPYLOU". or "DICK DALE and the DEL TONES"at the RONDEVU BALLROOM in Balboa Beach,Calif.

Meeting SHELLY FABRE, while working on a harbor tug as She was filming for, "The DONNA REED SHOW"

As a runaway , registering myself into CORONA DELMAR HIGH SCHOOL so as to still acquire my education AND get 2 part-time jobs to support myself as I attended school, AND RENT(!)an APARTMENT!!!!!!!!

Being caught as a juvenile runaway by an Officer Gomez, and as I had to wait for my parents to come retrieve me , He ACTUALLY APOLOGISED TO ME for having to bring me in!!!!!!!

He told me that I was the ONLY juvenile EVER, that He had EVER had encountered that installed himself back in High School, maintained good grades, gotten 2 part time jobs, and rented an apartment AND stayed out of trouble, to boot! (He met my parents and understood why I ran away!).

Meeting my First NYMPHOMANIAC(!) on Balboa Island in a record store, (for a JEWISH kid at the age of 16 who had the opportunity to DIDDLE a blond haired,blue eyed, shickza, who just LOVED to SCREW(!), this was a gift of MANNA from on high!!!!!!!!!), albeit, I was ALMOST caught by her father when he came into her room because he heard noises. (she was in bed under the covers , I was in the closet behind a pile of clothes until he left!), whereupon I left at the crack of dawn leaving Thur the window having to "CRAWL" and stagger 3 blocks to the ferry to get across the channel to my apt., to REST! (HEY! even at 16, SUPERMAN had his limits! ).

Or meeting THE REAL "LONE RANGER" from the old TV Series at the channel mouth one day as I pondered my future, and we talked......WOW, what a guy!

Or meeting ANDY DEVINE from the TV series "THE WILD BILL HITCHCOCK " TV show!

Or meeting BUDDY EPSON from "THE BEVERLY HILLBILLYS", what a sweet man!

Or graduating 2 yrs. early from high school, (did I mention that I was considered intelligent?) and getting a parental consent form signed to move out of the house, and move into a room the size 15'x5', and happy as a clam at high tide!

Or hearing about the ASSINATION of PRESIDENT KENNEDY as I was running stock at my after school job at "KINNEY'S SHOE STORE" and seeing my jerk-off, hard-assed boss cry like a baby as he heard the news on the radio news bulletin.

Or going to college and pledging the Fraternity "OMICRON DELTA NU" ,WE WERE THE "ORIGINAL"BAD BOYS ON or OFF CAMPUS! lol. We were kicked off-campus 2 times. Long before the movie "ANIMAL HOUSE", and for ALL the same reasons! (GOD BLESS ALL MY " O-D-N" BROTHERS OUT THERE!).

Or watching the "WATTS RIOTS" on TV and having 2 of my buddies who had bikes as well,(motorcycles), ask if I wanted to go down to WATTS and "check it out!", I declined, Harvey was arrested for being at the WRONG place AT the WRONG time, Billy was hospitalized for being a dumb-assed white boy in a black city of turmoil!

Or working 56 hrs. at an all-nite gas station and taking a full scholastic load at college and still not having enough money for a Biology Text. and after asking my mother for some assistance in its purchase, turning me down and saying she would not help!, saying that she didn't have the money to spare. (CRAP! the woman was f--king RICH! what with the portfolio that my Father had left her and with the various settlements from 2 previous divorces and this third and current "SCHLEP", who had his own meat packing company! (no pun!) remember that I had said that she went "MACHUGANA" after Fathers death! And turned into a really twisted woman!).

Or wondering , "What is this thing called VIET NAM"?", that we keep seeing on TV?

"What's a POLICE ACTION?"

Why did 5 of my classmates "knock-up" their girlfriends and get married SO fast?

What's a "DEFERMENT"?

What's the "DRAFT"?

Why were 7 of my classmates Killed In Action?

Why did 3 of my "FRAT BROTHERS",suddenly have a REALLY small goodbye party and leave for Canada so fast?

Why did 3 of who I thought to be my "best-est friends" come over late one night to bring me my mail? and when I opened it , it started with the words,"GREETINGS, FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ..................."....................AND WHY DID I THINK IT WAS REAL?????? hell I was only 17 ! (6 years later I found out that they meant it as a joke and really didn't think it would elicit such actions on my part!

Or why, after they left that night, were my hands shaking as I packed my backpack with underwear, jeans, Homer, Hemingway, a ream of note paper, a packing quilt from a moving van and $200.

Or why, after midnight , as I sat on my Honda 250c.c. scrambler and a full tank of gas, was I crying?

THE ROAD.................

E S D

A Life in the Day (17)

FAMILY? or DIS FUNCTION?
read the book..............

For some inexplicable reason a cadet named Micheal Plemons and I started to acknowledge each other and start to hang out together. I really don't know why? but we did.

He looked like a barrel, Me? I looked like a sandbag shaped to look like a watermelon,(go figure!). At any rate we became friends. As the jester of the universe would have it? we introduced our parents together.

BUT I DIGRESS.

As things turned out , I was now taken to live at home out of P. A. . During this time it came to my awareness that I had more "uncles" then I knew I had! There was "uncle Harry", He ran the local hardware store,"uncle Charles", He owned the local drugstore, oh , and lets not forget "uncle Ray" , I have no idea what he did., but they ALL had one thing in common, they All came to the back door! That's when I slept on the "I LOVE LUCY" couch in the living room. That was fine by me, cause then I could watch that magnificent ,19" black and white ,console R C A TV with 500 knobs (only 3 worked! off/on, channel select, and the other that made the picture flutter up or flutter down. gawd but I got sick looking at that! I loved it ! )

THE FABULOUS 52 what a show!!!!!! meanwhile mother was bumping uglies in the bedroom.

OK FOLKS . i WANNA GET OUT OF HERE AS MUCH AS YOU DO. So suffice it to say that Micky and I introduced our parents together , they married and out popped Blair Alan and Alana Viola.(remember that I said I was the first of 3 issues?)

During this time I was placed in my First PUBLIC Junior High school .

Now we'll have some fun! lol lol

E S D